i have a job

I see that nim has taken the cue from me. She has one photo collage posted on her blog too. You copy cat. And about kuku bird. Who the fuck says that? Not unless you're between the age of 2-5, your mom might just mention 'kuku bird'. haha. whatever. Its not like i have one anyway.

On a side note, i was just looking at those photo collage below this post. Hmm..and i think i look really bad in all of the pictures. I look pale. And sick. Urgh. Maybe i wasn't eating well, or maybe i just needed a tan. Haiyah.

So, yours truly, is now working at Drew & Napier. (top notch law firm okay?) It was my first day today, and they showed me and nic ard 'the office'. Amazing pantry i tell you. Their coffee machine dispenses Spinelli's Coffee. how cool is that. I'm so gonna bring my thermal flask. And they actually have vending machine that sells cans of milos for 50cents. heh. I was hoping that there would be some cute lawyers there or something, at least there's an incentive for me to come to work. But, to my horror, they didn't put us in their office, they made us go to the next unit, which is a fucking make-shift office. With broken light bulbs, sand on the floor, boxes and files strewn all over the place, and i don't even have a proper table. Wtf. And the place was so dirty. OMG. Besides me & nic, there are 3 other malay peeps. Bah. And its no wonder how they can't even make the 'office' look a little decent. Whatever lah. They pay me 7/hr, 10.50/hr for OT. I'm happy. And im not even gonna bother dressing up for that ugly office. Boo.

Me & nic went for lunch today. Someone once said, when you're in Rome, do what the Romans do. Or something like that lah. heh . We used tissue paper to 'chope' the seats like everyone else. Hehe. We went to The Arcade, this place near caltex house for lunch. Hmm..so many nice cafes etc. And i kid you not, the food is so not cheap. But it beats eating at Lau Pa Sat. I'm sure nut would agree with me. (nut&i had blisters on our feet on our 1st day at work @ OCBC. HAHA. such losers we were. We went to buy plasters at Guardian during our lunchbreak.)

And i wonder how long i'll stay on at D&N..

Blast from the past

My girlfriends

Its back again.

Today, I'm feeling a little depressed and jaded.

Because that same lonely feeling is eating into me again.

This feeling is all too familiar. =(

ps:greg&ahkow, i helped myself to the pics you guys loaded on your blog. I hope you won't mind.

Some lameass questionaire

-FIRSTS-
+First Best Friend:Leslie Peacock, back in preschool
+First ScreenName: [stussy]
+First Self-purchased: That would be Fun-Factory. (yeah shuddup!)
+First Piercing:When i was 5
+First Enemy: Don't have any
+First Big Trip: USA

-LASTS-
+Last big car ride: last night
+Last good cry: Couple of days back
+Last library book checked: I've stopped visiting libraries
+Last beverage drink:ice water
+Last food consumed: multi-vitamin pills
+Last phone call: to him
+Last time showered: last night, 130am
+Last shoe worn: adidas superstar
+Last CD played: Dishwalla (live)
+Last annoyance: Someone left me behind whilst walking up the stairs
+Last shirt worn: SRJC Orientation shirt
+Last website: www.blogger.com
+Last Movie watched: Hitch
+Last show watched: Prime Time Live
+Last song: what?
+Last song stuck in your head: Blind by Lifehouse
+Last person u talked to: him?
+Last wish u had: Er...why should you know?
+Last CD bought: Blink182

-FOR or AGAINST-
+Gay/Lesbian Relationships: Against. Stupid ppl like them need help
+Long Distance Relationships: Depends.
+Online Dating: For. Isn't that how we met or something?
+Explicit Lyrics: Let the musicians express their rage lah.
+Suicides: Erm...depends. Euthanasia, definitely for.
+Killing People: Against of course
+Using People: Depends. We're all made to be selfish what.

-DO YOU-
+Have a crush on some1: Yes. And someone is not spelt as some1. stupid.
+Think about suicide: Hmm..i don't really think so.
+Hate yourself: Definitely
+Stand out: No. No. No.
+Write in Cursive or print: Print. Cursive when i'm angry. Curse-ive. Get it? hurhur. bad joke.
+Skateboard:No
+Snowboard: No. But i've tried sandboarding can?
Surf: Noooo. Stop asking stupid questions.

-HAVE U-
+Ever cried over a girl: No. My girlfriends make me happy.
+Ever cried over a guy: Yeah of course. I'm a softie. Very sensitive tear glands you know.
+Ever lied to someone: Yes

-WHAT...-
+Shampoo: Loreal
+Toothpaste: Colgate triple action
+Shoes: I don't wear shoes. Don't you get it? dim wit.
+Do u want to be when u grow up: A business woman, or a taitai. preferably not a scientist
+Makes u happy: him, girlfriends, chocolate, furry friends
+Makes u sad: him also, school, my life

-NUMBER-
+of times your heart was broken: once and more to come
+of times you've been in love: for real or for fun? For real, once
+of times you had your name in the newspaper: You think i'm so free issit
+of things you regret: one thing only lahhhhhh.
+of things you wear on your wrist: 1. watch
+ of belts you have: 1

-PERSON WHO LAST -
+Made u Cry: him
+Saw u cry: him
+Went to movies: him
+Slept in ur bed: him. Actually, for hygeine reasons, i don't allow anyone else to lie on my bed. Haha. hobs could attest to that. You're only allowed to sit on the edge of the bed, and no hugging of my pink mogu
+Sent u an email: Mom
+Yelled at u: him?

(weird)

-DESCRIBE YOUR-
+Wallet: pink & white polkadots.
+Underwear: All lycra. Not cotton. Most are plain white, some are colourful
+Tattoo: None
+Hair: like a stack of hay on my head.
+Eyes: Black
+Hands: Moisturised
+Feet: Moisturised
+Room: I think there was a typhoon just now. Cuz everything is so not in place

-THIS or THAT-
+[salt or pepper] Both lah. They're complementary what. Are you stupid?
+[okay,ok or o.k.] okay. I can spell OKAY?
+[Bright or dark colors] dark
+[Tick-tacs or Certs] wtf is tick-tacs? tic tac? the sweet?
+[Sun or Moon] Moon
+[Silver or Gold] Silver
+[Silk, cotton or flannel sheets] Silk
+[Preps or Freaks] what the heck is this?
+[ketchup, mayo, mustard, or relish] low-fat mayo
+[shampoo + conditioner in one or separate] separate. And dont forget the hair mask too.
+[Apples or Bananas] Apples without a doubt
+[Red or Blue] Red
+[Halloween or Christmas] Christmas. Hoho.
+[Mouse or Rat] Doesn't matter lah. They both are almost 80% homologous to the human genome
+[LOTR or HarryP.] NONE LAH! Sorry, my imagination isn't tailored for such fantasies.
+[CareBears or Tellytubbies] carebears
+[Black or White] Both.

-HAVE U EVER-
+Said you loved some1 and meant it: Duh. And i won't say it if i dont mean it
+Gone out in public with ur PJ: Hahah. Er..yes. Pls stop asking embarrassing qns can?
+Planned your weekend based on the TV: Yeah. I wanna go stay in Hotel 1929.
+Been on stage: yes to receive good progress award
+Been to NY: No. But i will make that happen
+Been to Hawaii: No
+Been to California: No.
+Been to China: No
+Been to Alaska:No
+Been to England: No
+Been to India: no
+Been to Brazil:no
+Been to Mexico: yes
+Been to Canada: No. I wish you would stop asking lame questions like these. Give me the money, and i'll answer yes to all.
+Wished u were older: Hell no?

-FRIENDSHIP AND LOVE-
+Believe in love at first sight: No. I'm not that shallow. But crush at first sight, yes
Love chilldren: yes
+Most important thing in a relationship: Love, trust, commitments, selflessness, compromise, honesty
+I miss: the past
+I am: a melodramatic person. Heh. NO lah.
+My Style is : plain tank tops, skirt/jeans/ and flats/thongs
IF YOU WERE.____ WHAT WOULD U BE-
+An Animal
+A Fruit
+A Vegetable
+A Color
+A Bug

I won't answer mindless questions like these. Why the hell would you wanna be a bug or a vegetable??

-MORE STUFF-
+Are you smart? Abit. Heh.
+Do u like onions? Sauteed Onions, onion rings
+What instruments can u play? Guitar, piano (my fav), recorder, keyboard,
+What words do u overuse? " I mean.."
+Do u sleep with socks on? Yes. Its best you put socks over moisturised feet.
+Are u ticklish? haha. Yes. Don't you dare attempt to tickle me.
+Are u shy? Yeah very.
+Do u talk to urself? No.
+Do u have a basement or an attic? No
+Did u go to preschool? Duh
+Are u a morning person? NO NO NO

-FRIENDS-
+Who u are closest to: Hobs & partyofalifetime gang
+Who makes u laugh the most: As above
+Who is the most trustworthy: As above
+Who has the best house: This friend of mine, who has 5 cars, one of which includes an aston martin.

-FAVORITES-
+Drinks: Coke Lite
+Food: Dim sum? Anything without prawns actually.
+School Subject: Biology
+Color: None
+Year:1997-2003
+Artist: None
+Animal: Dog
+Band: Lifehouse (for now)

Rainy Sunday

I sense that today's gonna be a really boring day.
For starters, i just woke up. Time check, its 1.50pm. No shit. I sleep too much these days that my body ache after i wake up. Haha. Silly shit.
And the weather ain't too good. Raining. Well, its not like i wanna go swim again, but you know, i'm always lazy to go out whenever it rains. I hate getting my toes wet. And don't ask me to wear shoes, cuz i don't own any decent-looking pair of shoes. I'm not a shoe person. Period.
So, for today, i think i should stay home and practise some piano pieces. Not classical. I hate classical & exam pieces. And polish my piano. YESSS i'm that bored can?

And ever since my KC post, 3 of my friends have decided to write about their KC lives too (hi hobs, nim, moe). Is it KC, or am i just too influential? Wah lau, im having a headache now, must be too much sleep i think. I want a KC party pls?

Anyway, was at Altivo last night. Yes, nice place, and Nim, i'm sure you would agree with me, since you and tony went there before. And you didnt tell me that. Sneaky rendevous huh?

Bet you didn't know

Damn tired.

Today i woke up at an unearthly hour of 9 in the morning. Anything before 11 is unearthly to me. Cuz i usually don't sleep earlier than 1.30am. Nocturnal? YES! Oh yeah, no thanks to some moron, (see i use the word moron so casually, so relax if i call you a moron lah). Anyway, this moron called me..and asked for don't know who lah. Bloody hell, it was a wrong number. I was too sleepy and tired to play along. Usually i would play along. Thanks to my dad. He taught me how to treat prank call as fun and not frustrating. HEH. I tried going back to sleep, but i couldn't. And since the sun was sooo good today, i've decied to go to Tony Romas' house for a swim (nim! its my turn to get back at you. Who ask you to call Ken Kenny rogers?) I got a tan. Yay. I need to make friends with ppl who live in Modena. This condo that's 1 min away from my house. So i can use the pool. The pool there is nice.

Oh and the reason why i havent been uploading pictures is because i'm using a hand-me-down comp from my uncle lah. And its running on Windows ME. Wah lau, so ancient can, and i'm too lazy to install the driver. So i'll get my hands on the XP installation disk and WHAM, i could upload my pics without installing drivers. The damn repair man didn't wanna install XP for me. Don't know what piracy and shit, and he still had the cheek to tell me he bought his installation CD from pasar malam. what the hell.

Evannnnnnn..when's the VS stuff coming??????? im anxious! heh.

Come next tuesday, i'll be an office person at Raffles Place. i got no office wear! OMG. And i heard that working in a law firm is such a bitch, because they allow pants only on fridays. not even jeans! =(

Nim: Hobs would only come to KL if there is even number of ppl. I hate odd numbers too. Imagine sitting alone on the bus. But tony volunteered to sit alone if theres an odd number. But i know you'll get mad, cuz i know you wanna cuddle up with him on the bus or train. But hobs said the train damn dirty. HAHA.

Speaking of cleaniness, i was watching Prime Time Live on CNA (channel News Asia) just now while having my lunch. They unraveled the 'cleaniness' of cabins on the cruise that goes to the bahamas and stuff. They used UV lights and they use a swap to collect samples of stains and then bring it back to the lab. They found

1. Urine stain on the toilet door knob. WTF?
2. Urine stain on the fridge/walls/ICE TRAYS
3. Semen stain on the fridge
4. Semen stain on carpet, blanket, sofa, dressing table (wtf. are these ppl having kinky sex or what huh?)

Okay thats about it. Men are the culprit. Cuz for one, women can't pee on door knobs, neither do we produce semen. Disgusting.

Back Then In KC (part II)

First of all, i would like to reciprocate Hob's kind gesture by referring her readers to my blog. I implore you all out there to visit her blog too. www.justhetwofus.blogspot.com. Alternatively, you could click on Hobs on the right. Together, we have compiled a pile of funny memories back in KC.

Once during Chemistry, Carrie, this classmate of mine was reading Sweet Valley under her table. She was too engrossed in the book that saliva dripped from her mouth as she read the book. I guess cuz she doesnt close her mouth when she reads. She thought no one saw. But i did, and i was controlling my laughter realll badly.

Jessica Z. was known as the owl. She got abit annoying each time she goes "who, who, who" in the midst of our conversation. You get my drift. Initially, we would tell her who we were talking about, but we got so sick of repeating everything because of her, so me & hobs would ignore her.

I sat beside Belle back in Sec4. She used to have this bf called Nicholas aka cantaloupe. HAHA. And i would scribble Nick all over her table and she would be pissed. Cuz i think she didn't exactly like Nicholas at all. They fell in love whilst ice-skating. Haha. Me & Hobs would role-play the kissing scene of Nick & belle to irritate this Honeydew. belle used to adore M2M. She would sing their song almost everyday. And i cannot tahan. haha. Just kidding Honeydew. (ref to Hob's blog if you don't know why we call her Honeydew) Now that belle is single, she can go back to Cantaloupe for he has nice pearly white teeth. HEHEHEHE.

On the last day of school, me & hobs threw our old school shoes into one of those metal cupboards, and we hid our smelly KC socks under the monitor cover. good luck to the next batch.

In sec 1, i had this classmate who forgot to put on her badge, so this psycho form teacher of mine took a chalk and wrote B-A-D-G-E on her pinafore. Fucking hilarious.

And then there was Mrs Ho, that saliva spitting history teacher, who can't speak clearly, maybe its because of her long tongue. but she sure has a passion for history. Thanks to her, i got 94 for my Sec2 history. And whenever Mrs Ho gets pissed, i really feel like laughing, because she looks damn drama lah! macham she's acting in some chinese serial. wah, and i think she needs a proper haircut. She's also known as chocolate chip, cuz she has many moles on her body.

During biology lesson, i rememebered Mrs Buoy talking about the skin. And then she went on about the Cornified Layer. So i smiled to myself, then i grinned and Charmaine. And she made me face the black wall at the side because she said i was distracting others. Charmaine used to be my Bus No. 12 buddy. We would look out for cute & uglys guys on the bus everyday. And she's really corny too.

I had this damn good chinese teacher. Its because of her that half the class got distinction for chinese. And i'm one of them. heh. Quite an achievement for a banana hor. Wah, i can remember how she calls me. Super high pitch voice "XIAooooooooooooooo Li JUN!, ni gen wo guo lai". Don't know why she always ask me guo lai lah. Oh wait, i think its because i'm always talking to other ppl, and i'm always speaking english during her class. But i love her nonetheless.

Stupid Piggy Lim confiscated my Pride & Prejudice guidebook. Bloody hell. And i've yet to get the guidebook back from her!

Ms Soo was a terror. It didn't help that she used to live 2 blocks away from me when i was staying at Pasir Ris. I would see her at the bus-stop every morning, but i pretend that i didn't see her. One day, she asked me to take a cab with her..Erm..so i did. Free transport mah. Then she gave some stupid prep talk on the way to school. Bah. I'd rather pay 45cents for my bus-fare than take the cab. She went like.."Grace, back then in sec2, you were such a good girl, look at you now. See how you wear the uniform. And look at your grades. You used to do so well for geog, and now, you're getting Cs. What happened to you???". At least she didn't try to slap me like how she threatened to slap Nim. Terror hor?

And there was Ms Devi. She has bad-breath. Everyone would agree with me. Damn disgusting. Yuck. And i dread it when she calls me to sit beside her. Anyway, she sucks. She told us that we could only aspire to go to a JC. Boo to her. At least i made it to a JC. She's such a bitch. She hates the guts of nicole & hobs. Haha. But she only had one darling, and thats none other than the honeydew. HAHAHAHAH. GROSS.

That reminds me of another bitch. Candy Hong. Bloody arrogant, think she tai-tai or what. Can't even pronounce properly. She taught me Home Econs and Art. During Home Ec..."Girlss...this is Sue-ger (sugar)" Wtf lah. And i only managed to cook once throughout my sec1 home-ec. Bitch. Cuz she said i can't cook as i didn't finish up my corrections. WTF???????? Whilst others were cooking, i was doing my corrections. How nice. She's full of shit. period.

Okay, i'm tired already.
I just got back from Marina Sq-Esplanade-Bras-basah with Ken.
Silly old Ken. There is a striking similarity between ken and a young little boy. When a young boy finally managed to persuade his daddy to get the toy, he can't help but keep bringing out the toy during dinner, staring at the box, looking into the box. After dinner, he does it again-looking at the box, looking into the box. And he seemed very eager to go home and play the toy. But of course, ken didn't buy a toy. He bought something else.

Back In KC...

Me & Hobs would read joke books under the table. We would laugh to ourself, then the teacher will give us funny stares. We used to sit right in front. Didn't help that, stupid Hobs was 1.72m tall, blocking all the shorties like Rosabelle. Hobs would occassionally bring some peanuts (probably her dad's leftover), then we would have a good time breaking peanut shells, eating the nuts, and arranging the shells on the table. We (me, hobs, nicole) would snigger each time belle attempts to answer a question by raising her hand. It was hilarious. And belle disliked me during the start of Sec3. Haha. what a petty bitch. But i still love her now! Heeee.

During recess, me & belle would always eat the fishball noodles. Hobs was a scavenger then, she would eat leftovers. She won't take my soup or belle's soup, cuz we usually add tonnes of chilli. As for nicole, the man, she would buy those 30cents pandan cake. I rem once i bought, but i left it under the table, after 1 week, there were moulds growing on them. Gross

Every morning, we would change our KC socks. I leave my KC socks under the table for one whole week, before washing them. heh. Am i gross? Everyone does that lor.

Once, our entire class didn't turn up for this stupid standard test, we were made to stay back in school by Cik Rathia to do skipping after school. I so forgot to bring my PE T-shirt, so me & i think serena went to the Sec5 class to steal PE tshirts under the table. GROSSSSS. Okay, i dont wannt talk about it. No choice must wear other ppls shirt what!

I heard Evan wailing so loudly cuz she got an A2 for chinese. Our class couldn't stop laughing, cuz we thought it was a prank, till i went out, and really saw tears in evan's eyes. Sorry tocks. haha. That was a classic.

During a science experiment on the germination of the green beans, Mrs Buoy told us to go to the front while she did some demonstration. Me & Alicia poured the entire bowl of green beans into Mrs Buoy's handbag during the demo. We couldn't stop laughing.

After PE, Hobs & I always rush for the fan with Netty The Fatty. Yes we called her that. And we didn't like her. She's so annoying. Me & Linda were controlling our laughter so badly when we saw the needle of the weighing scale going another round when Netty stood on it. (yeah i know, that was so evil)

Lifehouse-Blind

I was young but I wasn't naive
I watched helpless as he turned around to leave
and still I have the pain I have to carry
A past so deep that even you could not bury if you tried

After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you is blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go

I would fall asleep only in hopes of dreaming
That everything would be like it was before
But nights like this it seems are slowly fleeting
They disappear as reality is crashing to the floor

After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you is blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it

That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go

Thanks for sending me this amazing song. This is a perfect song to describe the least perfect situation. Every word reflects all my thoughts and sentiments. A really depressing song indeed. A song depicting unrequitted love and reluctance to let go. I couldn't agree more that Love, is indeed blind. Nim & Nut, you guys still can't seem to understand why i'm still so hung up over him, so i'll tell ya, that love is blind. You don't love the person because they are perfect, you love them for their imperfections. I think Hobs said that to me once, and it really did make sense. And somehow, i don't need to find any reason to love a person. You just love them the way they are. You don't love them because they are rich and they shower you with diamonds, but rather, you love them because you think they're worth it and that amidsts of all their imperfections, you see something really special in them. I sound like a love-fool, feel free to call me that. But love -fools are always the one who believe in unconditional love.

You You You

I’ve tried to go on like I never knew you

I’m awake but my world is half asleep

I pray for this heart to be unbroken

But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete

I love the lyrics to this song, but i won't tell you who sang it.

Choice & Courage

I was able to relate to moe's post on Choice, reason being, i ain't the most decisive person on earth. In fact, I'm pretty indecisive. Like her, i couldn't even decide what to eat for lunch, or what i should wear to school (not that NUS is any hip a place)

Of course, like any other people, i've faced with many choices all the time. I'm not a risk-taker to begin with. I hesitate too much. But when i know what i want, i will find all means to get it. Sometimes, too much determination isn't really good, because there are some things that won't go your way no matter how much effort you've put in. And this needs no further explaination. So, the only thing i could ever do now is hope, and not get too involved in the situation, for fear of disappointments.

One wrong choice that i've made was to stay in Singapore after my A' Levels. Well, my parents didn't exactly want me to go abroad, cuz of the financial reasons, but they said, if there isn't a choice, they would send me abroad by hook or by crook. I stayed behind nonetheless, because i didn't want to be selfish. I have too younger brothers. And because of someone else. I regretted not being persistant. You could call me selfish, but thinking back, i should've gone abroad. I really want to get out of here. It was such an awful feeling to know that all your friends are going abroad, scattered all over different continents, and you're stuck here in Singapore. Its not awful because i'm jealous that they're abroad, but rather, i know im gonna miss their company. I thought i had a certain someone to rely on when all my friends are gone (boo!), i thought he was a consolation. But he wasn't there for long. Hence, my biggest regret. He was the pull factor.

Its not like i could turn back time now. The least i could do now is make do with whatever there is, and hope (again?). Don't i ever get sick of hoping? I still don't know. At least i could hope. What would you do if the doctor tells you that you only have 7 years to live? Well, that was what happened to an acquaintence of mine. Just how much can he hope? It's like you know you'll be gone pretty soon (7yrs isn't that long), just what would you do? For me, i really don't know, be as optimistic as i can? Hm..but isn't that like deceiving yourself?

Maybe self-deception is good. Cuz i still can't get enough of my little own realm. I've yet to put my first step into the real world. I think i'm a coward (that sounded so bad)

Hair Cut @ Le Salon

Today i went for a hair cut at Le Salon. Its this hair salon at Ngee Ann City.

Awesome place. I knew it was gonna be really classy, when they had the professionalism to call me one day before my appointment to remind me about my haircut today at 4pm.

I was treated like a queen. And i felt like a celebrity. The first thing they did was to put on a robe for me. I don't know why, maybe they didn't wanna dirty my clothes?

Lady: What drink can i get you?
Me: Water?
Lady: Ice-water?
Me: Yeah. that'll be good.

So she ushered me to my seat. Around me were tai-tais and more tai-tais. It was pretty intimidating though. They hair-stylists all damn stylo-milo looking lah. jap/retro sorta style. hah. The first thing i noticed was the 'auntie'. She actually wore a uniform, like those chamber maid sort. Her duty is basically to serve drinks and sweep away those hair on the floor as soon as someone finishes a haircut. And its no wonder that the floor is so clean. Suddenly, i saw the auntie serving someone coffee separately with steam milk. OMG. And another ang-moh having ice-lemon tea. what the hell, is this some sorta cafe? The only drink i knew hair salon served are water and chinese tea. period.

My stylist, James has gotta be the most professional stylists ever. He gave comments about my hair. Thats all he said. And not go on and on and on about how my hair is so hard to manage, so hard to cut, so hard to blow etc etc. I've heard those a million times, even those stylists at Kimage gave such comments, and when i started rolling my eyes, they stop. Eg: wah, ni de tou fa hen hou leh, ni yao rebond cai ke yi, ying wei wo bu hui jian (your hair is thick, and the only way is to rebond, cuz i dont know how to cut). Fuck. I didn't pay good money to hear hairstylists telling me that. REBOND REBOND. Think i got so much time and money issit? As for james, yes he suggested rebonding, but he didn't go all out to persuade me to rebond, not like the rest, fucking money minded ppl. But, this just ain't a good time to rebond, cuz im broke, and my hair needs rest. Curious, i asked james how much they charge for one rebonding ...$600. OMG. Crazy. Apparently, they get 'hair-technicians' to do the rebonding job. Mad. Then i had my hair wash. And this was how professional they were

Lady: How's the water?
Me: Yeah..its okay
Lady: How's the scratch?
Me: Its okay too
Lady: Would you like some conditioner?
Me: Yes pls.

And the good thing, they speak english!! Phew. Can't stand cheena farts ahlianish hair stylists. Annoy the hell out of me. Cuz, okay i admit, im not that good at speaking mandarin. And i'm a classic banana-siang jiao.

I've got some layering done. Wheee.
And if you wanna know how much the hair cut was..it costs $58

BUT

I've got a voucher for a free hair cut, cuz my mom attended some seminar! Woo. I swear i'll go there if i'm a rich girl!

Pamper your nails

I was bored again this evening, so i tried to give myself a manicure and a pedicure

The pedicure turned out okay. It was never difficult painting my toe nails, except that i have to get into this really strange position, to ensure i could paint all 10 nails. Back was aching, so i got my younger brother to do my toe nails. And he did a pretty fine job. I pasted some nail art sticker on them after that. Whee

As for the manicure. It turned out distastrous (like any other time). Paint, re-paint, paint, re-paint. So annoying. And it didnt help that i had to do that for the nail polish as well as the base coat. I can't seem to paint my nails evenly. I wish i were ambidextrous, but the nails painted with my dominant hand still turned out damn ugly leh. What the heck. And i really mean ugly. Like pieces of residue stuck on my nail. I gave up after the 3rd attempt. Waste so much of my mom's nail polish. Heh

Who needs nail polish when you have nice nails..

Starbucks has Frappucino Light. The best thing ever! Indulgence without guilt. And i had one Rhumba today! =) And that drink reminded me so much of my Starbucks days with 'Saddam' & the rest of the crew. 'Saddam' would drink a Venti Rhumba Frap everyday, while i take a Tall. We would at 20 scoops of Rhumba chips, cuz we love them to bits. Heh. And its no wonder why i grew fat whilst working there. Damn drinks! Eventually, we grew to love ice water more and more, because there was no way we could drink another starbucks drink. Not even a hot mocha on rainy days. But right now...i yearn for a (extra) hot mocha without the whipped cream pls..

yay!

I just won an Audioslave Album today! Heh.
I was bored this Saturday afternoon. And usually around this time, Power98 has this CD monger thing going on. You basically text them the title of the audioslave song they play and if you're lucky, you get the CD. Hehhh. I'm so lucky. I managed to text them 30s before the song ended. Actually, i wasn't sure of the title, but okay, i cheated, i went online to check it out. Heh


I'm not that super into Audioslave. But i'm okay with it!

So far, I've won an Alanis morissette, Lost Prophet, Audioslave CD.
yay. yay. yay.

ps: And i love taking part in contest. I used to think contests were bullshit, until i learnt that jinling won any ipod just by drinking 20 cans of coke. Damn it.

Travelling

Pardon my previous entry. They seemed too depressing. So in this entry, i'll be talking about something that makes me happy. And that is Travelling & AUSTRALIA.
There's so muchh to do at Australia. I don't know if the people studying at Melbourne would agree with me. Heh, cuz i have not been to Melbourne. My mom thinks its boring, and i quite trust her. We usually go Australia on our own. Tour packages suck. My mom would plan the trip meticulously. We usually book apartments, cuz they're way cheaper. But the next time we head to Cairns again, we'll be staying in some Backpackers Hostel. Cuz its even cheaper, and its reallly fun. My mom's friend owns a backpacker hostel and we visited the place once. They have like Barbies (meaning bbq) almost everynight, everyone there are so friendly, and soem guys are quite cute. haha. Apart from accomodation, my mom plans the itinery and activities. Like the White Water Rafting @ Tully River, Hot-air Ballooning (which i didn't really like), the diving and the snorkelling.

The first time we went to Cairns to do snorkelling, we took those huge air-conditioned ferry. So no sea sickness or anything, its meant for the less adventurous sort. The second time we went there, we went on this dingy junk boat called The Fella. No proper seats, the boat was swaying vigorously, just recalling the experience makes me nauseaus. It really was those typical fisher-men sorta boat. And if you're not careful, you might fall of the board. Man Overboard? Whatever it is, it wasn't a pleasant ride. But what was amazing about my second trip was, we were allowed to swim in the middle of the sea. The water is so beautiful i tell ya! And from there, we swam all the way to an island. OMG i could live on that island. Nothing but fine sand. Soo beautiful. The water is so clear you could see fishes. Snorkelling & Diving at the Great Barrier Reef is MAGNIFICENT. I like the way the Australians care so much about nature and stuff like that. heh.

White Water Rafting was simply amazing. Can we all do that together once we have enough money??? I tried rafting twice . Once was at some river, which was meant for the less adventurous again. Hooked on rafting, my mom wanted the more thrill. Tully River it was. They chartered a bus to pick us up at our apartment as early as 8am. It was a full day thing. Hmm..I don't know how to describe rafting actually. Heh. But its so much more exciting than a roller coaster ride. The water is sooo clear and clean. Thats one reason why my mom rather raft at Aust than Malaysia. Heh. The British whom i shared the raft with were so fun, although they're about 60 yrs old. Haha. I love rafting.

My 3 weeks Cairns-Brisbane Trip was Fantastic. Even better than my US trip when Nim said she saw me at Holiday Inn LA. Haha.

Anyways, i don't have any pics of my cairns-brisbane trip, cuz that time no digital camera what!. So i'll upload pics of my Sydney Trip last year, taken by a lousy digi cam. (no choice what)


Whats sydney if you dont visit the Opera House?


Beside the market place is the Paddy Market.
Damn nice


Apparently, Tom Cruise bought one of these apartments.


Went to the vineyard for a tour. damn sour grapes.


At some really damn boring underwater world shit.


Mom & Dad at some roadside fruit stall

The End.

Am I who I'm supposed to be?

Sometimes, I'm caught in a dilemma between being an angel and a demon. I'm sure this is nothing new for most. There's this driving force in me that inclines me to be an angel. Which i think its really good. But is it because i have an underlying motive? I don't really know myself sometimes. I don't think i have any motives. haha. And its probably why my parents named me Grace: Gift of God.

Have you ever felt like you're two completely different person overnight? Cuz i think i do. And its not that i'm suffering from Sever MPD (multi-personality disorder), but rather, that could just be my solution to escaping from everything. Meaning, not letting emotions take charge of my life, and as a consequence, wreck my mood and everyone else's mood.

Been feeling a little edgy and touchy lately. And i'm not sure what caused me to become so short-fused. I'm starting to get impatient with my parents lately, I don't really engange in conversations with them that often, as compared to when i'm on 'normal mode', and how i'd rather be online doing nothing than socialise with people. I'm not addicted to the damn internet, but sometimes, i just want to be left alone, and not talk to anyone else. Everyone asks me things like "hows everything"?, "hows ur day"?, etc. Well, the truth is, everything about my life now is topsy turvey, and if i were to say good, or fine, i'm lying. Cuz it isn't good at all.

Just too depressed with shit like that. People ask me, why do i have such high tolerance. well, the truth is, i don't. I'm as vulnerable as anyone else, and sometimes i put on a brave front. I don't like people to see me as weak, and i defintiely hate crying in front of people. Even good friends. I think i can hold back my tears pretty well, which i don't think any of my girl friends would approve of. They'll tell me to cry as much as i want. But i won't. Except when i know that no one's around me.

I cry when:
i think of death
i feel neglected
i sense a tinge of unrequitedness
i feel that my life is falling into pieces
i feel that i'm a total failure
i'm stressed during exams
i my family ain't happy
i regret doing something i shouldnt' have done
someone lies to me
i'm afraid of losing someone
i think about my childhood

After all these, I wish i was stronger.

JC Friends & Me

Woke up at 9am for some job interview today.

I was supposed to meet Evan after that, but somehow, she never fails to have an impromptu plan once after we have confirmed the time and place. As a result, we ended up not meeting again. This happens all the time. Nothing new to me.

So, i went swimming at Tony's yesterday. But it rained and i didn't wanna continue swimming because i'm afraid of thunders and lightnings. Yes. You heard me right. And plus, water being a good conductor of electricity, the chances of being struck by lightning isn't very low. I wonder how those two morons managed to stay in the pool the whole time. Maybe they find their lives too draggy & miserable. The sun's pretty good today, but i'm a wee bit lazy to go for a swim. Or maybe i'm just tired. Slept at almost 3ish last night. I find it so hard to sleep whenever i have things on my mind. And i mean a truckload of things. Well, mostly emotional issues which i won't talk about here. Besides that, I also started to think of my all time favourite qns "What If"? Thought about what i should do in future in order to save my self and shit like that.


Here's a picture of me and my two BESTEST JC friends.
We don't meet that often, but we could still talk like we've known each other forever. These two girls make my JC life less disgusting. I hated my JC life. I hated everything. From the long hours, to the uniform, to the stress, to the "i-like-u-but-i-dunnoe-if-u-like-me" dilemma, to the endless tutorials and lectures and make up lessons. But one thing i loved about my JC, was the teachers. They were AWESOME. They teach well, they are so dedicated. Thats what makes a neighbouring JC different from a top JC.

On a lighter note, I'm currently reading Pride & Prejudice. I think I've read that for almost 6 times. Don't you guys love it? Jane Austen. Whee! One of those classics which i truely enjoy.

And i think i'm going off to sleep now for i'm really exhausted.

Diet Plans

Just last night before i went to bed, I was thinking of ways to lose my flabs. And as you know, i'm not a hard-core gym rat or anything like that. I run at most 3 times a week. Thats all. And i eat whatever i want. (no chicken skin though)

So, i've got two plans. And i've decided to embark on my diet plan with effect from tmr. Because tonight i have a bloody wedding dinner to attend. Calories Overload. (steer away from soft drinks! Drink only ice-water or Chinese tea!)

Plan A: Detox

• Consists mainly of fruits & veggies & water.
• Diet should include 8 cups of water, salads (which i remotely enjoy), fruits
• Meat is definitely out of the question (no!!!!!!!!!)
• Yoghurts & fruits. Fruit salads also can!

Pros:

1. Get rids of toxins in body. (two thumbs up for this)
2. Better complexion and excellent bowel movement

Cons:

1. No meat. (how to survive???)
2. I doubt i could fufil this Detox shit for 3 days. I'll die of hunger
3. And i'm too lazy to make a fruit salad. Cuz I still don't know how they manage to cut watermelon and honeydews into nice looking cubes. Bah.

Plan B: Soup Diet (recommended by mom)

• Consists mainly of soup and more soup
• Any kind of soup
• Campbelle soup is my favourite (chicken + corn)
• No carbs (almost simliar to Atkins)

Pros:

1. I love soup!
2. I can have my fair share of meat
3. They actually sell some veggie campbelle soup that contains only 80 calories per can. Too good to be true!
4. Soup is actually darn filling
5. Its way easier to cut carrots to add into my soup than to cut a watermelon

Cons:

1. I really can't think of any. Not that i'm a fan of carbs though

This is it. I'm embarking on my soup diet. And i would have to go down to NTUC to stock up on soup. Campbelle, you've just got yourself one hell of a loyal customer!

Me & My Childhood Days

I'm bored again.

Anyway, I'm back from a hearty dinner with my family. We ate at Swensens @ Changi Airport. Swensens is just too over-rated and over-priced. I go there only for their Baked Rice and nothing else. So far, they have the best baked rice, and it wins those at NYDC hands down, albeit a smaller portion. Heh. About the exorbitant prices at Swensens, a normal stupid chicken cutlet costs $12.90, and it costs only $5 at my house kopitiam. Whatever it is, just eat their baked rice there and nothing else. Oh you could splurge on the dessert too if you crave for something sweet.

So, there's a pasar malam going on in my estate. For Neha's benefit, in case you completely forgot about your malay language, pasar malam=night market. Heh. They always have pasar malam near my house. Oh i'm so fortunate. Too bad for those staying in condos or private estate. I think i should take a picture of the night market for all you peeps abroad. Typical food stalls that sell nothing but lipid-laden food. All fried! Eeyew. Even those taiwan sausages, though not fried, but i'm very sure its made of pork fats. I usually eat the otah though. heh. but i always get a burning sensation in my tummy. Strange. And then, they have those kiddy rides. Those rides which i weren't allowed to take when i was young. My mom thinks that those vikings and carousels are dangerous. And then there are those inflatable castles where children jump and jump like there's no tommorow. I wasn't allowed to jump on those too, cuz my mom thinks its too dirty, and the children are violent. =(

When i was young, there were quite a lot of things i wasn't allowed to do. I couldnt play near the drains (as usual, they were dirty), i couldn't go downstairs to play, unless accompany by an adult, i wasn't allowed to eat those ice popsicles, cuz (those ice thing in plastic, that costs 10cents), cuz my mom thinks its dirty, and she used to tell me that they make those near the drain. Even now, she thinks that those ice-cream they sell in town are made near drains. Haha. What a wild imagination she has. But i eat them now!!!!! I'm glad i could eat whatever i want now. But whenever i eat something she doesnt approve of, she makes me feel bad about it. Like.."Why are you eating otah?, you have no idea how they made it. They stepped on it..blah blah..Its not that hygenic". Oh..whatever. As long as i like it. And now, she controls what my fat brother eats. haha. Its really hilarious.

Mom:Why you eating that chicken drumstick again! Its so oily!
Bro: What? Quite nice what
Mom: Fattening you know! I don't care, you better not eat without the skin!
Bro: Whats drumstick without the skin? Wah lau eh
Mom: You better not eat ah! Grace, make sure he doesnt eat it.
Bro: Ha nah!
Me:...

Haha, in fact, i dont eat the skin of chicken at all (unless chicken wing, then i don't have much of a choice)! My friends love eating KFC with me, cuz they know they can have my share of the chicken skin. Its true, the skin is TOOOO FATTENING. heh. Maybe my mom's influence has rubbed off me. Maybe.. And i have this paranoid grandma, who won't allow me to eat the outer layer of the pau, cuz she thinks its dirty as well. Haha. Madness

I shall end my daily rant just right about now.

Lemons & Lemonades

Boo to all!
I'm really bored now.

I was having an awesome time for the past 1 hr, playing Lemonade Tycoon. It such a cute and fun game. Basically just making lemonades to earn money. Though i wouldn't say i'm the business-minded sorta material, but i feel so inclined towards setting up my business after playing that game. haha. who am i kidding?

And so, promptly 1 hr after i started the game, feeling so happy earning a net profit of $112.90, the yahoo of a bitch just had to end my game abruptly, telling me that the trial is over. Knn. Isn't a trial suppose to be for 30 days? And not 1 bloody hr. I'm so boredd now. I want that game, but right now, i only have skateboard tycoon or whatever you call it at home. Who gives a shit about skateboarding. I would rather lemon or ling mong or jeruk anytime. When given lemons, you make lemonade out of it.

Come to think of it, no one in singapore actually appreciates lemon. They probably prefer lime juice, which taste very much like detergent. And pls don't ask how i know, cuz i've never tasted detergent before too. That would be such a sour way to commit suicide. Haha. I'm being lame again. Sorry. But i'm really bored. What do you want me to do? Count the number of eggs i have in the fridge? Oh shit, another attempt on being lame again. What the hell is wrong with me?

So, i really wanted to go jogging, but the sky doesnt look too promising, it might just rain on me when i'm half way running towards expo. Boo!

On a side note, i went swimming yesterday at Tony's. Haha, Nim, feel free to join me there for a tan anytime. Don't go to your Laguna Park pool lah. Use your darling Tony's pool. I went there with Ben, my brother. Haha. Tony made a friend by the pool, and he's psychotic. And tony unintentionally left the fruits he brought under the sun, so we got baked oranges, that seemed hard and pale looking. Maybe i could save that for nim, then she can eat them as preserved oranges. Whatever it is, i wasn't really that tanned! Boo. My back is though. Wtf. Who gives a shit about how tan your back is hor?

Wheee!

Warning: This post is not recommended if you're of the XY species. Read unless you have nothing better to do.

Today, i went to Scott's Isetan for their annual or rather, bi-annual private sale. Evan would definitely know what i'm talking about. It's a sale open only to Isetan members, like my mom and dad. The sale was terrifc. 30% off Levi's items, MNG, Mambo, SurfBay. Too good to be true. But, i went home empty handed from Scott's. I wish i had gone there early in the morning. I could bet on my last dime that 40% of the stupid women there took leave from their work just for that day. Damn it. By the time i reached there, prolly about 3pm, i could hardly find something that would fit me decently. They were either too HUGE. Like size 14! or too small, like size 4. WTF? I rummaged through everything i could find at Mango, but i couldn't find anything decent. Such a pity. And then, there was this really nice stripped skirt from Surfbay that i really liked, but they didn't a smaller size. Gees. And my dad bought a kettle from there. hurrrr. I had going home without buying anything, especially when there's a sale going on.

Determined, i went over to Isetan at Tampines, i figured that since its located in a heartlander sorta mall, these heartlanders probably wouldnt even know anything about being an Isetan Member. Much to my chargin, there wasn't any private sale. Boo. But, there was a 10% discount at MNG apparels. Better than nothing i thought. Though i could've saved another 8 bucks.
After much hesitation, i bought a skirt. A nice denim skirt, which has exactly the same cutting as my Mambo skirt. Cool. I quite like it.


Front


Back

Oh so pretty. And allow me to also mention that, i bloody queued for 20 mins just to pay for this skirt. Cuz in front of me was this stupid lady, who bought 14 pieces of mango clothes

Alas. I'm happy. But it didn't stop there. The icing on the cake was a surprise mail from Nim! All da way from Vancouver. So sweeettttt Thank you Nim!! I love AE!!! (hint for xmas). Heh.

I thought it was a rosary at first, till i saw the butterfly. Awww..

Here In This Diary

I'm so bloody tired. I just finished mopping and sweeping the entire house. Sounds like a maid? And i've yet to eat my lunch. Sounds like an ill-treated maid? Maybe? Bah

Anyway, i need a damn job ASAP. It's only the 5th day of my holidays, and i'm bored stiff. I have plenty of activities planned, all before my exams. But there really isn't any one out there free for me. Dammit. I might as well work, save up, and go on a holiday myself.

I lack books to read. So for my daily reads everynight, i read my diary. To date, i have 5 diaries. 4 of which were written with immaculate details, while the current one is just too brief for reading pleasure. There were so many things that i've long forgotten, until i read my diary. Everything from friendship, family to relationship. Well, mostly relationship. Evey speck of details were neatly penned into that trust diary of mine. Without the diary, i wouldn't even remember that me and him tossed a coin to decide which movie to watch. It was between Heartbreaker and A Knights Tale. What a joke. And then, there was this moment (first date perhaps), we were texting each other on the bus when we were just sitting opposite each other. Hilarious? Awkward? I don't know. But it sure was nice to relieve some pleasant moments. Well, i do remember most of the stuff that i wrote, but sometimes, tiny details like these tend to slip off my mind, as i deem them 'not-too-significant'. And some pretty sweet text which i actually jotted down could still put a smile on my face.

Hm..and I wonder if i can ever write anything like that in my current diary. 5 diaries within 3 years? Thats alot ain't it? I'm the sort of person who would cherish every single moment of happiness. To me, anything that makes me happy deserves to be remembered, thats why i never fail to write them down in my diary. The happiest entry i had was a staggering 11 pages long entry. Oh boy. You couldn't believe how ESTATIC i was. After reading my diary entries, it kinda made me happier as well, hatred and grudge gradually faded eventually. I tend to be more optimistic too. I would think : hey look, there will always be things that make you happy, just like all these things that you've jotted down in this diary. I wish i could turn back time, and relive those happy memories

Of course, there's a flip side. The dreaded miserable entries. Glad they took up less than 50% of all my entires. Phew. Well, basically, my entries consist of 20% of misery, 65% happiness, 15% thoughts and whines. It's saddening to read the miserable entries. The ink smudges on the page is enough to make my heart sink with melancholy. I believe in writing sad entries too. That would ultimately be my pillar of support. When i read them (only on vulnerable days), i learn to be stronger. But when i'm feeling normal, i just gloss over them. They ain't worth too much of my time. And sad entries are usually about relationship (duh!) and family (once in a while), nothing about friendship, cuz you girls are the best!!!

The diary is a personal thing to me. It's something i won't want anyone to read, not unless i'm gone. Then maybe you could. I could never be as candid in blogging as compared to penning down my thoughts in my diary. I guess there isn't this thing called privacy when you're out there in the cyberworld. Someone whom you know, might just chance upon this blog for all you know. And i believe that blog-stalkers do exist! (nim:sheepish grin)

OMFG! I must go now! They're showing smurfs on Kids' Central. I so bloody have to watch that. I've been deprieved of that cartoon since 6.

Spot The Man

This is one hell of a cool picture. I doubt you could see the fine prints below. But whatever it is, it says that if you can spot a man in the picture within 3s, you're above average. Within 4-11s, you're average, and below that, you're plain stupid. (kidding)

I did spot the man within 10s. So that makes me pretty much average. Oh well.

Love-Hate Relationship

I have a love-hate relationship with something called jogging.
I love jogging because of the endorphines released after that. I love jogging because i feel good after perspiring, and there's this special glow on my body, which made it seems like i've applied some oil on them. Haha. And lastly, i know i get trimmer.

But, what i hate most about jogging is, having to change to jog. Urgh. What a bother. I have to put on socks, my nikes, my nice jogging shorts and my big-yet-cool-looking-Tees or a really sporty singlet, just to jog around some shoddy HDB estate. With nothing but carbon monoxide and cyclists on pavement. Are they stupid or what? Usually, I'll go jogging without my glasses, and if i happen to wear contacts, then good on me. I have this fear of trampling on a dead bird whenever i see something brownish looking on the floor. It only turned on to be a leaf thats wet? Pardon me, but i do have astigmatism, and i see nothing but blurry images. If only my dad could afford a treadmill, then i wouldn't have to go through all these. I could wear ratty clothings at home, and jog, even with my bedroom slippers (i'm kidding about that)

Okay, which brings me to another point. I'm terrified of dead birds. And i'm dead serious about this. (No pun intended). Once, i was walking home, about to cross the road, i saw a flattened dead bird on the floor, must be the works of stupid cyclist again. The bird was left there for almost a damn bloody week. No cleaners bothered to clean that up. For one week, i had to walk past that dead bird. OMG. That was really traumatising. And till today, i refused to walk on that spot where that dead bird laid. I wonder why, call me paranoid or whatever, i was totally disgusted. I cringe whenever i see feathers on the floor. Eeyew?

I totally abhor birds to begin with. Especially the damn crows. After reading an article about how this crow started to peck on this man's head everyday when he goes to work (i laughed when i saw the headlines, i was so scared after they took a picture of his wounds), i'm so afraid of crows. Crows are the 3rd smartest animals according to Animal Planet. Because, for some reason, crows like eating nuts or somethign like that, and because their beaks are not strong enough to pry open the nuts, they would drop them on the ground, so the car can go over the nuts, and then they get their nuts.

And i digressed again. So i shall just end here.

Being 21

I never knew it would take such a short time for me to turn 21. Time flew by, too fast for me to even stop and think, is this for real? Things that happened when i was 16, seemed almost like last year. This is pretty scary. Everything from the good old days in KC, (all girls, and who the fuck gave a shit about guys then?), to my JC days, which weren't exactly that fun, probably i'm still not used to being in a mixed school, coupled with the A levels stress, didn't exactly make JC days as memorable as my convent days. I wish i could stay on in KC forever. By wearing my KC PE t-shirt and shorts gave me some form of consolation, that i'm still that convent girl, no matter what. I would gladly exchange anything for my sweet convent days.

What does it feel/take to be 21?

To me, being 21 means

• getting your first gold supplementary credit card, followed by a UOB mini
• to be able to drive a car
• getting your priorities right
• not believing in stupid fantasy love
• making sure you open your eyes wider when you look for a partner
• being independent
• going for coffee with friends, rather than watching a movie
• giving your parents monthly allowance after each pay cheque
• start planning for the future, and it definitely doesnt include marriage
• don't give a damn about marriage. Tell yourself, you're not going to get married at all
• listening to jazz when you're tired
• still reading chick lits/watching meteor garden
• finishing up the veggies
• getting laid (for some maybe)
• start planning for further education, like getting a masters overseas
• going on dates
• working out and look good (to save yourself)

An illusion i know called Love

I don't wanna lose you,
But I don't wanna use you
Just to have sombody by my side.
And I don't wanna hate you
I don't wanna take you
But I don't wanna be the one to cry.
And I don't really matter
To anyone, anymore.
But like a fool I keep losing my place
And I keep seeing you walk through that door.
But there's a danger in loving somebody too much
And it's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust.
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are
Baby sometimes love just ain't enough.
Now I could never change you
I don't wanna blame you
Baby you don't have to take the fall.
Yes I may have hurt you
But I did not desert you
Maybe I just want to have it all.
It makes a sound like thunder
It makes me feel like rain.
And like a fool who will never see the truth
I keep thinking something's gonna change.
But there's a danger in loving somebody too much
And it's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust.
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are
Baby sometimes love just ain't enough.
And there's no way home
When it's late at night and you're all alone.
Are there things that you wanted to say?
Do you feel me beside you in your bed?
There beside you where I used to lay.
And there's a Danger in Loving somebody too much
And it's sad when you know it's your heart they can't touch.
There's a reason why people don't stay who they are
Baby sometimes love just ain't enough
Baby sometimes love just ain't enough

Boo. And i still can't get this song out of my head. It has been lingering in there since forever, and its probably because i can relate entirely to this song. Love, what a scary thing it is. To me, it seems only like an illusion, and i was probably foolish enough to be deluded by it. With everything equal (forgot what you call that in Econs), in love, theres bound to be one person getting hurt, and the other just getting away feeling guilty, maybe for a couple of days. Its impossible for two to get hurt i think, though it always takes two to tango. Even if it does happen, the number of emotional wound would never be equal for two. Love could never end on a happy note, thats because its not even suppose to end. The sparks can extinguish, but the passion should never. There shouldn't even be any equity in love. One party tends to be more accomodating and compromising, but things won't stay like that forever. Sometimes, the table can turn. And you will know it when it happens.

Love just doesnt seem real to me anymore, and its hard to regain my faith in love, because i can't seem to trust anyone out there anymore..

Though love is only a mere illusion, its hard getting by life without love. So, what exactly is love? To me, its so hard to define what love is. What i see about love is a fuzzy image, nothing too well-defined, hence my conclusion, its only an illusion. Apart from the love of my friends & parents. Those love need no explaination nor introduction. But all i know is that, the sparks in a relationship does not equate to love. And thats emphatic.

And i wish i could just walk out of that door non-chalantly and aloof, not feeling any form of sadness nor pain. If there's just one thing i would want God to take away from me, that would be my emotions..

The wonders of SEM

SEM aka Scanning Electron Microscope made what was thought to be impossible in the 80s, so very possible. Below are some images captured using the SEM. And they are a beauty! These are the pictures that usually entice me to read magazines like Discovery. Oooh.

My favourite fly, the Drasophila aka fruit fly. I've done so much studies on them. From the colour of their eyes, to the shape of their wings, and the segments on their body. Everything. And they're quite a bitch to study.

No points for guessing what this is. Spermatozoa aka sperms with hyper motility

And these, are erythrocytes aka Red blood cells. I like this picture alot.You could see the distinctive biconcave shape! Even my histology book doesnt have such nice pictures!

In case you're wondering, why did i put up all these? Well, these are just random images i got from a website. =)