8km

Thats the distance i ran this evening. All in an hour.

Somehow, i needed to something crazy like this to clear my mind. I started from my home to expo then to bedok simpang and back home again.

Couldn't stop running today, i feel like i needed to channel my energy into something like running, instead of staying home, and mulling over the crappy situation i was in.

Last night, i dropped him a text to ask what he was doing. It seems like i'm always catching him at the wrong time, or he simply doesn't give a shit anymore. In fact, the only reason why i texted him was because i needed to find some affirmation. Ironically, it's not what he did that provided me with the affirmation. It's what he didn't do.

End of story.

I hope i feel better, for it's the start of a brand new week again.

emotionally tangled

I know i don't exactly have a huge base of blog fans, i'm still gonna continue blogging for recording purposes so i can read them whenever i'm feeling confused or if i need to do some sort of soul searching, or even to seek some comfort and empathy in here. Who am i kidding?

Yesterday's dnd ended with a huge bang. in my heart of course. didn't expect the night to end with me feeling being in a whirpool.

The plan of the night was, ignore, avoid if possible, hang out with others, smile, walk away. As simple as that.

Once, i caught him smoking outside, i avoided. Second time, i saw him with some other ppl, gave eye contact, smiled, walked away. Third, took a photo with a friend, friend asked him to come into the picture, made small talk with friend and him, walked away. Fourth, i went to the toilet with a friend, came back, he saw me, and walked towards me and spoke. His first line "whey, why you never call me". Of course i feigned stupid, "call?, but you were with other ppl leh" Obviously, he meant calling using the phone.

What a first liner, which obviously took me by surprise, I can't remember what i said, must've sounded like the most ridiculous answer. We made small and generic talks like "how are you, hows ur sales, oh i heard blah blah blah...oh the annuity blah blah blah". You get the drift. Nothing too indepth and everything brainless, and not thought/emotional provoking at all. For a moment, i wanted to ask, "hows your girlfriend", but i thought since the night just started, i should shut my gap, for fear that the entire night would be ruined by my big mouth, and me feeling like crap.

I wondered why he didn't call me out, when clearly almost the entire batch was outside taking pictures, only A had the courtesy to call me. Pfft

I don't know why i had this inclination to take a photo with him, even though everything is done and over. But we took one in the end. With us having arms around each other, it was perfect, then for a moment, it felt like things have fallen back into place again like before.

Sometimes i get confused with my emotions because of this thing called dillusion. At that point, i realised how i missed him, the phone conversations, the stupid things we did and talked about, and of course, battling of our wits against each other. But that was all in the past. I clearly remembered the good things about him, and almost forgot that he was a two-timer. :(

I went home with a heavy heart, old memories kept replaying in my head over and over. It was another heart vs mind issue again. I was supposed to walk away from him, avoid him, severe contacts with him. Then when i was almost reaching home, i had this burning inclination to drop him an sms. Yah, me and my itchy fingers sometimes. And he replied to my sms. Until i dozed off, and didn't bother to reply.

I read the sms this morning again, felt like he was trying to swerve the topic to something else, when clearly the idea was sent out in a specific direction. He could be drunk, or acting blur. I would think its the latter.

I hate it how he keeps shuttling in and out of my life. It gets me emotionally messed up. Not knowing what to do. It feels like i've failed disastrously in my plan to totally ignore, forget about him and move on.

Easy to hate, difficult to forget.

I wish things were simpler.

boohoo. i need a hug!

the geek

i'm quite a closet geek if you asked me.

take for example this evening, i was watching this show on Discovery Channel called I Didn't Know That. Awesome show. They do stupid experiments like finding out how many helium balloons it take to lift a human off the ground, whether or not you could cheat a polygraph test or weird shit like how aluminium cans are being made in the factory. Great stuff i tell you.


TV aside. Let's talk about ME.

Today, i solved the rubik's cube. hurhur. In fact, i think it's pretty easy once you sorta know the algorithms. If you're thinking trial and error, i suggest you're better off doing jigsaw puzzles. You can't solve a Rubik's Cube without the algorithms. For the uninitiated, if you don't know what algorithms are, maybe your geekiness isn't quite on par with mine.

Day 2 and my manicured nail don't look that perfect anymore. Sob.

I'm so hungry!!! But i shall resist all temptations, for i've already brushed my teeth and am wearing my retainers now. I reckon brekkie tmr would test even better than the usual. yay.

dnd tmr. BLEAH

uh oh

seems like US really is indeed going into a recession. The severity is so drastic that an emergency interest cut by Fed Reserve had to be implemented. We're not even talking about 25 basis point. it's 75 we're talking about.

welcome into the blood bath

does this spell S.H.I.T?
no wait, i think it spells D.E.E.P S.H.I.T
for everyone.
and my piggy bank

omg. all the asia indices is heading south. HELP!!!!! STI is way below its 3000 support level. HSI? i'm truly dumbfounded

On a more optimistic note, hey ppl, lets start your bargain hunting NOW!


i shant blog much today, for i just went for a manicure. my nails are perfect and i dont wish to ruin them

tata

Adore Aerosmith!

I can't find any reasons not to adore aerosmith. Steve Tyler's excellent vocals were definitely the saving grace of his thick and least attractive thick lips.

I think classic rock bands beat shit bubblegum pop/rockband ala My Chemical Romance and thrashy crap like Linkin Park hands down.

In my opinion, Aerosmith's songs aren't even close to being angsty. They're melancholy, sad and pretty catchy might i add.

All time favourites include 'Cryin', 'Crazy', 'Angel', 'Beyond Beautiful'. And one song which i can hear over and over again, not because it is super commercialised, but rather the lyrics hit me like a raw nerve would be 'I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing'. Definitely a ballad for the lovelorns. Aww..

" Every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure"

Seriously, no one else can do a cover of this song no matter how rock or pop they are. Imagine Backstreet Boys or some shitty Click Five band singing the same song. 'I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing' would seem more like 'I Don't Wanna Hear A Thing'

As you can see, this is quite a conscientious attempt to keep my blog alive. It's been dormant for months i know!

i'm so sad i didn't get to attend Jay Chou's concert. I'm a closet Jay Chou fan. And I'm always eager to play his new songs on my piano.

Today, someone mentioned a name and it struck a raw nerve. For a moment i thought he became non-existent, but today after i heard the name, i realised he still exists. Out of sight, out of mind. In any case, i don't think i wanna see him anymore. I just can't bring myself to see him the way i used to. Things have certainly changed. For the better of course. Nonetheless, i'm still thankful for that short-lived memories, which will inevitably be forgotten as time goes by.

bad dinner

i'm getting more and more random these days.
But in anycase, i thought i should let all of you know about my bad and totally unsatisfying dinner.

Today at work, i was busy from morning till night, i barely ate anything. At 8, right when i've knocked off, all i wanted was a decent and maybe something that i could relish while watching my 9pm show. I've decided on a BK mushroom swiss meal. When the staff handed me my food, i told her to give me 2 extra packets of chilli sauce. Prior to that she asked what sauce i wanted, and i assumed she already placed it in the bag

To my annoyance, when i got home, i only found 2 frigging packet of chilli sauce. Nevermind the sauce, i thought maybe i'll just eat my fries plain. Then i realised the plastic bag was a little wet, and i thought i accidentally spilled some drinks while carrying the food bag. Shock shock horror horror, that bloody twit gave me a cup which was leaking. KNN.

Really, some ppl get on my nerves. Never ever offend a famished person, for i was always told (by my dad) that a hungry man is an angry man. Hahah. Must be the lack of ghrelin hormones and whats not.

Hmmm..3 more days before i officially end the battle at work.

Time for bed.

xoxo

p/s: still suffering a badgering neckache.

IPO and randomness

Today Old Chang Kee launched their IPO, i hope my friend Nick got his 4 lots.
Of course, to commemorate this milestone in this curry puff biz, curry puffs were going at 80cents only for today. Not exactly the cheapest curry puff in town, but, i thought i'd grab one today, not because i wanted to save that meagre 30cents, but a) i had carbo cravings b) there was a crowd at the stall (herd effect) c) i really wanna celebrate OCK's success, how they've come so far (okay i lied about the third reason)

I also bought dog shampoo today for my chihuahua whom i sometimes call pinky. It has natural ingredients like tea tree oil and aloe vera. Gawd dammit, the shampoo costs more than mine. $20. Honestly, i don't see any sense in buying him such an expensive shampoo when i've got 100x more hair than he has (fur of course). It's a teeny weeny treat for pinky this time round. No more expensive shampoos after.

I also bought a label printer. (to label stuff of course, DUH!) It's really handy. It looks just like those price tag label-er you see at minimarts. Hmm..after i've finished labelling my stuff, i didn't know what else i could print out, so i printed out my dog's name, and pasted on his e-collar. He looks really silly with that label, but do i look like i care?

Today, i also printed out tonnes of 1-for-1 Mr Bean Soya Milk coupons. I will drink them every day, but not to the point where i OD myself and end up with gout (caused by severe uric acid built up if i recall properly) I can't remember why they had such an offer, i think its something simliar to that of OCK's IPO launch. I totally can't remember. See the thing about the term ' 1-for-1' is pretty ambiguous. Gramatically, duh it doesnt make any sense. 1 for the price of one. DUHDUHDUH. Instead, it should be '2 -for-1', which effectively translates into 2 for the price of one.(then again, stupid singaporeans would think, "wah buy 2 get one free ah") Alternatively, if you want to say '1-for-1', please say buy one get one free. Singaporeans are such lazy ppl. I'm not exception because i do say "skeeews me" (or maybe somethings with a silent "ex" followed by "skeews me" and i say "cos" instead of "because".

Enough of random shit COS my neck is aching.

GREEN is still my favourite colour!

xoxo

campos brownies made me sick

Sunday is always a day to sleep in, wake up at 12pm, have lunch while reading the papers and just while the entire day away doing anything remotely productive, yet relaxing.

Today, i've decided to drive by Hob's to pick up a dress; and i spent an hr or two just bumming ard.
She offered me campos brownies (air flown from Sydney), i took a bite, and ithought it was good. I took another 3 more bites, and felt nauseous after that. It was too rich for my liking. Thank god it was a small piece. That was my lunch. I borrowed 3 cds from her, which i will definitely remember to return.

I came home, and i took a nap.

Shame on me. I should be at the gym!:(

I shall go to the gym tomorrow to make up for last week.

In fact, i really wanted to go running around my estate this evening, but the weather forbade me to. How unfortunate.

i hate guys who are completely dishonest.

p/s: i've got a gastric-like syndrome last night.
pp/s: i've got dark rings, only because i slept at 4am
ppp/s: American Gangster wasn't as good as i've expected
pppp/s: No body wants to attend Switchfoot concert with me

Damn the bloody teabag

Today's weather calls for an excellent cup of hot tea. Ever since the horrific insomnia incident two months ago, i've decided to stay away from Twining's Green Tea after 8pm. The caffeine was too potent for my liking.

Now, i'm having a cup of lipton's caffeine free strawberry/raspberry/cranberry tea. In all honesty, i could barely taste anything remotely strawberry. Righto. That's not the point. The point is, while i was trying to take the tea bag out from the wrapper, it got stuck, i yanked it out and accidentally tore part of the tea bag. I've got bits of tea leaves floating in my cup.

Also what happened today was i ate like a godzillion bits of sweet wrappers. As you know, i'm down with flu, cough and the usual. So i've been popping cough drops like mad today, with the damn wrappers sticking to the drops because it was partially melted. Pathetic! Yes, i've eaten tonnes of bits of papers and tea leaves today. Wow wee!

Oh a happy note, NYE celebration was pretty good. It was at Swisshotel. 8 course dinner, mediocre entertainment. Not only was the food good, but hey, my family managed to bag 2 prizes from the lucky draw. One's a 5 piece home theatre system, and the other's a DVD player, courtesy of that shit Akira brand. *scoffs*. I will upload pictures when i'm free.

Today, i had training and i bumped into Mr Cheater. I stayed clear from him, and didn't make any effort to go talk to him. He saw me from a distance, smiled at me. I could only politely force a smile. Note that i'm trying to be civilised and polite here. I could've easily ignored him. On retrospect, my scandal with him was so surreal. Gawd i can't believe it myself either. Gees.

Okay, one of the resolutions of 2008: to stay away from scums and be wary of guys!

I actually have tonnes more of resolutions, but decided not to pen it down. I never seem to be able to fufil them.

p/s: nick thinks that my blog is nice to read cuz it's filled with alot of angst and maybe humour.
I shall be polite and compliment his blog. His is just as nice, has lotsa witty humour. Please go visit his blog. He'll be glad to know that strangers read his blog through the site meter :)

love y'all!