way back home

Why do 9 out of the 10 choices i make in life carry so much uncertainties?
Am i the only one who's feeling that way?

I just submitted resumes. I hope something good comes out of it.

My job is so painful.

p/s: i'm thinking of moving to wordpress
pp/s: how do i add my tweeter status to my blog? (not that i'm a big fan of tweeter)

le sigh.

On a lighter note, i was reading an old blog.
Check out what i blogged. It's in mandarin okay. How power is that?
In case you're wondering..yes i have moved on, that was 2008 okay!
Now i find that blog extremely stupid.

gross.

back with a vengeance

I'm back from blogging after a significantly long hiatus. Reason being, i need to express my pent up frustrations over my job, to which i prefer to pen it down in words. At least it spares the poor ears of my listener from a session of verbal vomit which comprises mainly of whinings, cursings and vulgarities.

It probably is irritating to have someone complain on and on about the same old shit everytime you speak to them. I can unabashedly say that i'm one of those pests. teehee. If you were to look back at my older posts, you would probably find the same old whinings. But do i look like i care? So i shall continue writing.

As always, (not that it really dawned on me till today), that i'm apprehensive about staying in my job. It seems like things these days are beyond my control; rather, i tend to let it fall under the control of something called "excuses". Blame it on the market, blame it on the weather. In all honesty, i am extremely extremely tired. Mentally and physically. First, mental exhausation is something that can't be compensated. Second, weekends can never be compensated monetarily. Even 2 weekdays can't match up a Saturday. You get my drift.

Most importantly, the crux of my entire episodes of apprehension is that i'm losing faith in everything that i do. My beliefs have steered a complete 180degrees turn from me.
What the heck.

It probably shouldn't take me that long to come to such realisations. But all i wanna do now is pack up and run away, even if i do not have a destination. That's how bad i wanna run away from it. I could go on a sabbitcal to think twice before i make my move, than to make the same mistake again.

This is such a slow and painful process...without anaesthesia!!

disappointment

my job causes me to hate myself at times

though everything is beyond my control, and least to say my fault, why do i harbor guilt and shame?