directionless

At times, i really wished i knew what i want in life.
Being 25 make me feel like a grown up. Think financial commitments, paying income tax etc etc.. However, even at this point in my life i'm not sure where my future lies. I can't see myself in 20 years time. Not even 5. sigh.

Am i going through quarter-life crisis?

Why is it that i don't know what i want? Or am i too afraid of pursuing dreams? Are dreams even made to be realised? How do you even answer that?

Don't you ever dream of being a millionaire, well i mean who doesn't? but how feasible is that? The minority of us probably don't chase after dreams since they're known to be unrealistic or too far fetched. I'm such a coward. Or am i afraid of failure?

Sometimes i wish i could be like Mike. Drop every thing, learn a foreign language and go to a foreign land just for the fun of it. He's pursuing a dream or at least something he likes. Being a Singaporean made me an overly conservative person who thinks that if i go by the route less it'll make me a social deviant. By that it means i should live up to society expectation; go to school, get an education, get a job, settle down and start a family. Why can't i just work part time doing waitressing at a bistro, earn enough money just to travel and see the world, meet people and be happy.

I hate it when most people measure success by the digits in your pay cheque, or even the type of car you drive. We can't bring all that to heaven (or hell for some) can we?
And when you die, no one will really remembers how hard you've slogged your whole life just to pay off mortgage loans or car instalments. They'll probably remember you as a friend who was always there them.

So once over dinner in Sydney, i was telling mike how i wish i could just i could travel around the world. He told me it's a choice. i could just go afterall,i don't have mortgage loans to pay (YET!), nor kids.
Hm.. he has a point, but is it realistic? No wait!If this is a dream, then it's not even supposed to be realistic.