Random thoughts

I don't know why, but i just can't forsee myself being with

a) my ex bf's good friend
b) my good friend's ex bf

I think it spells big big trouble.
And somehow i feel that there'll be alot of hiccups in the relationship

Things should be kept simple and straightforward.


Ignore me, i'm just being random.

I am back

with a not so perfect condition laptop
My laptop is still sick unfortunately.
I don't believe this, 2 mths after the warrenty had expired, my hardware is giving me problems?
knn lah.

And, i forgot to back up Prison Break season 1. bah. Gotta get it from neighbour again.

Tmr, i'm gonna go down to the service centre, which is located at the other side of the world.
What a chore.
Then i'm gonna go town to run some errands, get things blah blah. and probably waste more money on gawd knows what.

xmas is coming. so is my year end bonus. can i hear a hooray?

I don't know if i should go for the muse concert. Howwww

I'm also contemplating on a career switch. 6 mths is a time long enough to know if you've found your niche in the working world.
We'll leave this career thing to another time when my laptop is in PERFECT condition.

I'm going to the gym now
bye!

Take this suckers

I'm so tired of hearing ppl rant about blah blah is such a nice place. its so fun, the shopping is cool.
if only you could come.

Yeah right
For the fucking record, i haven't had my official graduation road trip.
I'm tired of ppl telling me, i'm going xxxxxx for exchange, blah blah blah.

I wish i could do all of the above, but i'm financially strapped. My parents ain't got any money for all these anymore. Sometimes i wish they are financially driven ppl, who dont get easily contented with whatever they are earning. Comparing me to them, I'm just so different from them. Way too different

All i wanna do now is settle my damn tuition fees. So far, i've forked out about 4k in total. 9k more to go. Fucking hell. I could do so much with that 13k if only my parents had the money to support my tertiary education.

Come next year, i've accumulated a total of 32 days annual leave.
I'm packing my back to Europe. Hopefully during summer.

Bye you fuckers.

I'm feeling so angry today, i dont know why
tmr im going for a cruise. I dont know if i should gamble at the casino.

Do I Go Home Today

"My family brought me home cradled in their arms.
They cuddled me and smiled at me and said i was full of charm.
They played with me and laughted withme and showered me with toys.
I sure do love my family, especially the girls and boys.
The children loved to feed me, they gave me special treats.
They even let me sleep with them - all snuggled in the sheets.
I used to go for walks, often several times a day.
They even fought to hold the leash, I'm very proud to say.
These are the things i'll not forget - a cherished memory.
I now live in the shelter - without my family.
They used to laugh and praise me when i played with that old shoe.
But i didnt know the difference between the old ones and the new.
The kids and i would grab a rag, for hours we would tug.
So i thought i did the right thing when i chew the bedroom rug.
They said that i was out of control, and would have to live outside.
This i did not understand, although i tried and tried.
The walks stopped, one by one; they said they hadn't time.
I wish that i could change things, i wish i knew my crime.
My life became so lonely, in the backyard, on a chain.
I barked and barked all day long to keep from going insane.
So they brought me to the shelter but were embarassed to say why,
They said i caused as allergy, and then they each kissed me goodbye.
If i'd only has some classes. as a little pup.
I wouldn't have been so hard to handle when i was all grown up.
"You only have one day left." I heard the worker say.
Does that mean i have a second chance?
do i go home today?."

I guess I still have this problem on coming to terms with losing something in life.
It feels like i'm experiencing another impending breakup.

So fucking upset.
And don't ask me about it anymore.

My spanking new judebox

I've decided to embed a jude box just below the tagboard (which apparently plays only 1 song) on my blog. And i guess the song i'm playing right now is one of my favourites.

"I'm alright, i'm alright...it only hurts when i breathe"
How apt. My bloody finger still hurts when i breathe. Haha.
Im gonna redress my wound later. If i remember, then maybe i'll take a picture of my glamerous stitches.
hurhur.

Going for a weekend cruise again this weekend. I guess i really have nothing better to do, but to go for cruises to nowhere. I'm not complaining, since i''ll be staying in a balcony and not the typical bunk-like cabin. Whoopee. Thats what you get when your mom is a silver member. just one more rank below the Gold only.
Good enough.
More eating, more casino and more spa. More fats on me too. =(

Tata.

the microtome blade nightmare

My virgin experience of getting stitched up.

Right now, i'm having such a hard time typing, so pardon my typos.

It all happened when i was sectioning tissue this morning, then i accidentally cut myself. Gawd knows how. All i did was turn to look at the door, and the next thing i knew, my finger was bleeding. It wasn't an incision sort of cut, part of skin was being sheered off. Fuck man. I dont knnow whether to salvage that piece of skin or what. I wanted to keep it, but i think i dropped it somewhere, must've stuck onto the gauze.

So i thought the cut wasn't that bad, i have had many cuts, mostly superficial cuts. (i would alsso consider today's cut superificial). I went to the first aid box, to get myself a band-aid. And i thought..ehh..shit, the blood seems to be going through the band-aid, so i plastered my cut with another band aid. 3 hours after that, i went to check on my wound.

The hell! still bleeding. Then i thought shit, i better go to the A&E. I guess when you're under the A (accident), they make you wait for hours. 2.5hrs to be exact. That was how long i waited, one hand holding on to the gauze, sitting there, stoning, watching the saame 2 civil defence guy admitting 2 patients into ER. Looking at prisoners walking in and out. Gees.

wow. How fun. Pretty touched when Dr P came down to look for me, offered me some warm water and papers to read. It's quite rare to find such nice bosses huh.

Oh, and before that, they gave me a Tetanus vaccination, which almost made me cry. My finger was already in pain, and they're jabbing me in the other arm! what made me worried most was the person administering the jab was a nursing student from some poly. Holy crap. But thank god she didnt screw up.

I was so hesitant to get my finger stitched up honestly. I thought i could do with a simple dressing, cuz Dr P said stitching might cause granulation. Then my doctor, who's a pretty arrogant bugger was so haughty! He said if i didnt trust him (to get it stitched, so the wound would heal nicely), I could just leave. Didn't help that he's only a medical officer, unlike Dr P, who's a senior consultant! highest in the medical food chain (like what they always say), or more formally called, the hierachy.

what the heck, it didnt stop bleeding the moment he squeezed my wound!!!, so i thought maybe i should stitch it up.

The LA they administered at the base of my finger, which caused me to curse under my breath. (the same kinda pain you feel when they numb ur gums before extraction) Suddenly, my finger swelled! Then it became numb. He used a damn fine needle and suture, and sewed my wound.

It wasnt that bad really. those ppl who tell you about their tramautizing experience must either be a) gay b) very low threshold for pain c) stupid. haha.

The trick is, after they've injected LA ard the wound, they would use a needle to prick you to see if you can feel pain. Don't be so gungho and brave and tell them you feel abit of pain only. By right, you shouldn't even feel pain, but you could still get that sensation that you've been touched by a pin or something. Afterall, its not like your finger is in a state of paralysis.
Once the LA effect has worn off, you're back to cursing mode again.

I get to remove my stitch 10 days later!

I can't play the piano nor guitar for now. how sad.
Thank god i dont have a piano exam to take. Otherwise..im screwed.

I need the fucking painkilllers now!

My left hand look so fugly.

pps: random, but i think bioengin students should invent a nano stitching method.
Or has it already been invented?

Look ma!

One carton of instant noodles (indo mee goreng) courtesy of my mom.
Yes my mom. Strange huh. She just got back from Tanjong Penang? Penan? gawd knows what this indonesian island is called and bought so much food. The carton of noodles above costs only $5.80.

Happiness!! Instant noodles forever!

And she bought back 50 Otaks, because each costs only 17 cents. Siao.
I ate 4 and could feel my stomach churning like a washing machine. Grr.


So, dad and i went to test drive cars yesterday at Leng Kee. It was pretty fun.
hehehhe

We went to Ikea.
And then i bought something (again). I swear i went there without the intention of buying anything.


Tada!

My new armchair. Paid by me, assembled by me.
Leather okay!
Shiok.


Anywayyyyy, i think i'm gonna rearrange the tables, cupboard and my bed. I have come out with a new layout for my room. I hope to get a new bookcase and a new desk. And i wanna paint my room lilac.

I hope to accomplish all these by next CNY.

Whee!

See how a visit to Ikea can be that inspiring.

Sighhhhhhhhh.

Lazy Sunday

If there's one thing ppl can't see eye to eye on. That would be the PC vs Mac issue.

Mikeyboo and I were discussing about it all day long.
I'm not exactly a Mac fan. But i was just telling him how i might switch to Mac the next time my lappy dies. He, being this hard core Bill gates fan started rambling about how i should just stick to my PC. I swear this could go on forever

And he hates his itunes and ipod nano?? Definitely a 101% PC fan huh. Or maybe he's just being very practical about things.

And as for Nick, (who doesn't need any introduction), a damn hardcore Mac fan. how dare you become Anti-Mike. I will punch you.

Then, Mikey told me about this anonymity program, which sure as hell is cool, but there are drawbacks.

Can someone pls sponsor my airticket back to Sydney?? If only bodies can be swopped, i would swop places with Nick, whos coming back in a few days time, to sunny island Sg. And i can be in Sydney! Eating seafood, pancakes, brekkies at Kenzo Cafe, dessert at Max Brennar. (Okay STOPPP)

To make myself feel better, I'm going Botak Jones for some scrumptious burger later for lunch!

Bye suckers.

marketwatch

Nick and I were discussing about the impending GST increment, which led us to a discussion about economics, GDP and currencies. And from there, we started talking about the stock market, bluechips etc.

And today, he found me a gem

http://vse.marketwatch.com
cooooooool!
Can practise abit first.

You see, when you start working in a job where it isn't that challenging enough, you get bored. Thus you find things like these to do, to challenge yourself, or maybe to keep yourself entertained.

I'm still waiting for Grey's Anatomy Season 2 leh!!!!!! i'm waiting till my hair all turn grey already. Sigh.

xoxo

Work Woes

It's been confirmed that i'll be trained in cytology by the pathologist.

I don't know why i'm having so much reservations.
For one, i feel that i can't be doing this lab thing until my hair turns grey. I don't wanna disappoint the people who believed in me.
On the other hand, i feel i'm not doing myself any justice. I feel that i may not be cut out for cyto. I can't find that sense of self-satisfaction. i want to find other avenues to maximize my potentials. [science is really not my cup of tea, though i grasp concepts and theories really quickly]

I feel so troubled.

But i shall just go with the flow for now.

??

The Hell!
I have someone who spent a good 1 hr reading my archives

Fess up.
This is kinda creepy. because i know my entries are nothing close to interesting nor funny.

"Count on me Sg" ? Get a damn life

Nov 11, 2006
FROM THE GALLERY
Want change? Young must help make it happen
By Peh Shing Huei

WHILE most young Singaporeans know the lyrics of Count On Me Singapore by heart, there seems concern in Parliament these days that, actually, they cannot be counted on.

The issue kept popping up in the House in the three days of debate thus far, as MP after MP stood up to opine on the apparent lack of rootedness among the young here.

Listening to their worries, it would appear that, at the first available chance, these post-independence rugrats will make a dash across the seas to other lands.

How valid is this perception?

Judging by a survey by Singapore Press Holdings in July this year, the MPs may not be far off the mark.

The survey found that 53 per cent of youth here would consider migration, more than Indians (39 per cent) and Malaysians (28 per cent).

As Dr Amy Khor (Hong Kah GRC) said on Wednesday, it is a 'very telling and worrisome statistic'.

The Government certainly believes so. In President S R Nathan's Address last week, he spoke about the need for a 'new social and political compact' for this new generation and to deepen its sense of mission.

MPs were not short of ideas on just how to do this.

On Thursday, Dr Khor said that, even as the Government entices foreigners here, it must make special effort to retain Singaporeans.

Yesterday, Mr Zaqy Mohamad (Hong Kah GRC) offered something more specific. He asked the Government to do more to remove the climate of fear and dispel perceptions that dealing with it is akin to being on a 'one-way street'.

He said there are these other perceptions, 'that the Government does not listen, that your feedback goes into a black hole, that the Government has already made up its mind when it consults the public or that government policies are drafted by locking three scholars in a room - without any sense of how the issues are viewed from the eyes of ordinary, humble citizens'.

In her maiden speech yesterday, Non-Constituency MP Sylvia Lim said Singaporeans need to feel they can make a difference before they will feel rooted to the country.

'That they can be agents of change in the society, and on their own terms,' she said of their longing.

The Workers' Party chairman added that 'restrictive laws and policies' like the ban on political films and restrictions on political expression should be repealed.

Will doing what she says keep the young rooted here?

To be honest, I can't be certain.

But I suspect that a lofty, arrogant and even authoritarian government is not the only monster causing the young to yearn for permanent flight.

Another factor could lie with the lack of a romantic ideology that defines what it means to be Singaporean, one that would make this island inhabitants deeply proud of who they are. Pragmatic values are good for making a good living but hardly the stuff that makes you love a place.

As Dr Terence Chong, a fellow with the Institute of Southeast Asian Studies, was quoted saying in The Straits Times recently: 'Our nation is built on pragmatism and... it doesn't inspire people to stay. They are actually exercising the inculcated pragmatism by leaving for better opportunities.'

To be sure, these are issues the Government is familiar with. As the President's Address hinted, the Government seems aware of the desire among the young for greater freedom of expression.

Said Mr Nathan: 'The P65 generation is better educated and more globally exposed than their parents, and completely at home in the Internet age. They need avenues to try out their ideas and fulfil their ambitions.'

If the Government indeed recognises the restlessness the young feel, then I would argue that it needs to act faster.

Its pledge to open up has often been captured in the metaphor of a group trying to cross a potentially treacherous river, guided by the Government of course, by feeling its way forward, stone by stone.

It may be time to take a bit more risk and do a little skip or two.

Yet, even as the Government attempts to speed up the crossing of the river, the young should not fall back on the pace of change as a convenient excuse for their own inaction and indifference.

In his Address, Mr Nathan also spoke of the need for the more successful among them to feel a sense of mission to help those in need and take responsibility for the country.

Young Singaporeans can choose two routes: Be passive and wait till the Government moves, or take the initiative and start moving.

As Mr Zaqy, 32, said: 'I think my generation will also need to learn to meet the Government halfway.'

Count on me, Singapore? It's your call too, young Singaporeans.

I actually got this piece of article from a certain forum which i read almost daily to keep myself up to date with current affairs especially with the political scene.

I can't help but feel that i need to complain abit. And of course, i can say, i'm one of the few who wants to get the shit out of this place. Talk about rootedness? My bloody ass.
Ever since we were young, we were instilled with this whole sense of belonging to the country crap. I remember in Kindergarten, every National Day, we had to colour the flag (which till know i still remember i absolutely abhor it, because the flag was huge, and my hands were tired from all the colouring). Then they taught us how to sing National Day song, and honestly, i think 'One People, One Nation' was the nicest amongst the tacky ones like 'Chan Mali Chan'

So as i grew older, ironically, i feel less rooted to my country. There are 101 things i'm so pissed off about. 10001 things which i want the govt to change, and do for it's people. But with reports like the bloody transport fare hike (even when petrol prices remained the same. Where is the justification?), or the lack of freedom of speech (even when i'm typing this..im trembling with feeeaaaaarrrrrr. haha), and worst, the engangement of foreign talents (which i can go on and on and on.....)

I mean, pre-election, they (noticed i used "they") were practically sucking up to us. Give goodies like santa claus, only to take it back from us indirectly by raising the price of every shit. They promised to provide affordable medical care this and that..but...really, with they pay they are getting each month, on top of their day job's salary, i expect them to do much more. And not fucking fall asleep in parliament, which i've seen many doing.

One thing i couldn't understand, they know that there are many not so well of famlies in this country, yet they still gave the green light to raise transport fares. Oh, but they also said they spent 1million giving subsidies to these poor family. Eg, each family gets a rebate of i think $20. And do you honestly think that meagre sum of money is enough to cover your transport cost for the whole year? Not even a bloody month. If they have had the damn cow sense, they would not let that transport company run a monopoly.

I was also reading an article on Today's a while back, with regards to how Life Science Students are trained for something found only in their dreams and imagination. I'm talking about R&D work here. Although i must say, only a handful of these students can actually fufil their dream into becoming a budding scientist, while the others? do the sai kang aka be a "test tube washer". How fucking demeaning eh. Were they short sighted on their part? Making such a big hub-bub about this whole bloooming biomedical industry, only to hire all the foreign talents. Of course, sure they can say we're still establishing, therefore we need to get the experienced ppl to set the foundation. But i still feel that we, life sci students should at least be given a chance to practise what we've learnt. Afterall, we're from your World Class Uni aka N. U. ASS. And not make us do crap like prepare chemicals, wash machines and start the damn automations. It was short sighted on my part that i trusted them too much. They sounded so promising. They made it sound as though Life sci students have a great prospect ahead of them. I feel cheated, and utterly disappointed. For myself, and for the rest of my coursemates. We wasted 3 yrs of our youth studying rubbish which we could never see or touch.

Much to my amazment, I see what They and NUASS have in common

Remember those SAT days where they had this reasoning section

eg: Hat: Glove
Head: Hand
(some shit like that)

So heres my version

XX Politcal Party in Sg: N U ASS

Esplanade : UCC cultural centre
Foreign talents: Foreign student (all the same lah)
Hike in every thing : Hike in sch fees
Members get paid alot: Lecturers get paid alot
Little rootedness (according to article): Lesser ppl paying back to alumini
Lavish spendings: Dig and dig and more renovations

Two authoritative groups compliment each other so well. Like salt and pepper, mustard and ketchup.

With a system like this where do the poor souls like myself go? Of course look for greener pastures lor. Which explains why i feel that migrating might be a better choice. I had enough of the bloody rude sales assistants and the fake 4 million smiles. It is rather ironic that countries with sky high taxes, ppl are still so patriotic. I think that is one special factor 'My Home' is lacking. It's time they start scratching their heads.

KC Forever!!

Wad girl's school should you be from?

CHIJ
You scream for your school at any opportunity and for some strange reason you love your school to no end. You wear your belt so low that ACS boys' pants would be considered high (yeah. oh.. my..god)
Take this quiz!








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Really random

Ever wondered what sorta service/goodies you get when you pay good money for a first class air ticket?

On SQ, you get a nice comfy bed. You have a personal chef that would whip up almost anything you crave. You have attendents round the clock at your service. And lastly...your toiletry bag looks like this


Bvlgari okay! Now you know where your thousands of dollars go.
Left to right: Body lotion, hand cream, lip balm, perfume.
Superb


Anyway, meet my new friend




Awwww!

This baby cracks me up

Of Taxi Drivers

I won't consider myself a frequent cab passenger. However, the strange thing is, i always have this affinity with very very interesting taxi drivers.

Are taxi drivers these days getting so interesting, or is it just me?

I took a cab back from Vivocity after watching a movie. Wow, merc cab. Lo and behold, the taxi driver couldn't stop talking. It's really weird though. Usually when i take cabs at night, they speed like road runner and talking at the same time. But not this one. He was driving at 90km/h (which i think is very slow considering there were a handful of cars on the road)

He was giving me tips on how to defend myself. Allow me to share it with you

Tip #1: You should always aim accurately at the person's face when punching. One strong and powerful punch is all you need
Tip #2: You should always plan your escape route and have a contingency plan if it doesnt work. (i honestly dont know what fuck escape route he's talking about)
Tip#3: For girls, if you're wearing those pointy heels, you should always target your kick at the attacker's shin. (my ass, the balls i say! that will leave the XYs crying in pain)

And after all these bullocks. He went on telling me about how he always keep himself fit by exercising. And i quote him " i exercise alot, but i'm still abit fat". Haha. I told him it's definitely his diet, or his metabolism. Then he said if he doesn't exercise frequently, he won' be able to sleep or eat well. The icing on the cake- he flexed his biceps brachii and told me to touch it (like hell i would touch, anyway, they all look like small muscles but covered with adipose only)

Eeks

I've also met some really nice taxi drivers. Especially those that pick passengers up from Zouk. They always go like, its better not to drink so much, ppl will spike your drink etc etc. So fatherly. And once, after i've alighted from the cab, this taxi driver stayed there, and waited for me until i've entered the lift. Aww.

ps: I hate blisters on my feet!!!!
pps: I really hate blisters on my feet!!

ppps: i'm also going for my company's DnD at Swisshotel because my manager paid for the tickets!

Code Blue!

I still don't understand how the term 'code blue' came about. Code blue refers to an emergency. For eg, if someone becomes unconscious, then the hospital will make a code blue announcement over the PA system, stating the exact location. And of course, i'm quite sure the housemen would panic and be the first to rush off to the scene.

I just caught 2 episodes of Grey's Anatomy. Great stuff i tell you. It beats those mindless, raunchy tv dramas like Desperate Housewives or Lost. I can't describe why it's so good, but it's best you watch it yourself. The terms they used in the show are so familiar. Heh. I bet many ppl don't know how to spell suturing. Which in medical term means stitching.

Scrubs, surgical gloves, disposable gowns. All too familar. The only procedure that i come close to in an OR is Frozen Sections (FS) . Sigh. I wish i could at least witness a surgery. At least i know during a FS, i'm kinda considered part of the pseudo-surgical team. No? I still remembered when i did an FS, i had a group of housemen observing me. Haha.

TV dramas aside. Lately, some drama has happened at work. One of the staff quitted on impulse. This girl who came in 2 weeks after me. I was taken aback really. It's like for one moment, she was being told off for her mistake, the next thing i know, she became angry and left the place (for good). oh well..ppl come and go.

There has also been this great speculation from my co-workers that i've been targetted to be trained in cytology by a pathologist. I don't know how i feel about it. Mixed feelings. For one, my market value will be higher. Sky high actually, considering how there are only 20 cytologists in Sg. Erm..and the next is, i have more responsibilities to take up. I don't even know if i'll like it. I guess god always has a plan for everyone of us. Erm, and for the unitiated, cytology is actually the study of cells, rather than tissue. For eg, searching for atypical cells in fluids, or pap smears, and then making diagnosis.

Sighhhh

Dashboard Confessional - Hands Down

I would pay a hefty sum, just to attend their concert. When the fuck are they coming to Singapore? Not that Singaporeans would appreciate their music. I'm better off flying to Aussie to watch them.

Alter Bridge - Broken Wings (Live)

Talk about excellent live acoustic performance.