Mazzy Star - Fade Into You

I want to hold the hand inside you
I want to take a breath thats true
I look to you and I see nothing
I look to you to see the truth
You live your life
You go in shadows
Youll come apart and youll go black
Some kind of night into your darkness
Colors your eyes with whats not there.

Fade into you
Strange you never knew
Fade into you
I think its strange you never knew

A strangers light comes on slowly
A strangers heart without a home
You put your hands into your head
And then smiles cover your heart

Fade into you
Strange you never knew
Fade into you
I think its strange you never knew

Fade into you
Strange you never knew
Fade into you
I think its strange you never knew
I think its strange you never knew

:)

Lisa Loeb - Stay

You say I only hear what I want to
You say I talk slow all the time so

And I thought what I felt was simple
And I thought that I don't belong
And now that I am leavin'
Now I know that I did somethin' wrong 'cause I missed you
Yeah, yeah, I missed you

And you say I only hear what I want to
I don't listen hard, don't pay attention
To the distance that you're running
To anyone, anywhere
I don't understand if you really care
I'm only hearing negative
No, no, nos

So I, I turn the radio on, I turn the radio up
And this woman was singin' my song
Lover's in love and the other's run away
Lover is crying cause the other won't stay
Some of us hover while we weep for the other who was
Dyin' since the day they were born
Well, well, this is not that
I think that I'm throwin', but I'm thrown

And I thought I'd live forever, but now I'm not so sure
You try to tell me that I'm clever
But that won't take me anyhow, or anywhere with you

You said that I was naive
And I thought that I was strong, oh
I thought, "Hey I can leave, I can leave"
Oh, but now I know that I was wrong, cause I missed you
Yeah, I missed you

You said, you caught me cause you want me*
And one day you let me go
You try to give away a keeper, or keep me
Cause you know you're just so scared to lose
And you say, "Stay"

You say I only hear what I want to

talk about the long talks

I actually managed to maintain a good 5 hour phone conversation with gerald last night, concussed only at 3am. holy cow.

It's amazing huh. Maybe its not, since he likes to talk alot, even in his sleep. But what's more important is how ppl can talk for so long, and not get super bored. I've spoken to some ppl, for only 20 mins, and i got bored.

I think its the same frequency that ppl share. You know, some ppl just can't be on the same frequency as you. It's like Heavy Metal vs Classical music.

Then there was this topic on settling down, finding the right one. It struck one of my raw nerves.
He told me ppl who play the field are ppl who don't know what they want.
I'm gamed for the field, but does it mean i really dont know what i want? But you see, ideals and realism are two different entities. You can never expect to find someone out there who fits your ideal criteria right?

Today, this new colleague of mine told me he lives in my estate too. Great, can use his condo facilities, and i've earned myself an extra supper/running/tennis/swimming buddy! And did i mention his name is michael. remember what i said about all michaels???

And today, i closed a damn big deal.

HAPPINESS is in the air! air air air!

Phone Therapy

I love long phone conversations.
It is pretty good therapy if you have tonnes of woes to share, and a greater therapy if the other party is a good listener.
I've shared one big frustration at work today, and i felt so much better.
The art of listening can create miracle. Something which most guys haven't really mastered skilfully. What a pity.

I swear it'll be 100000X advantageous to guys who are good listeners.

I also like phone conversations where both parties never seem to run out of topics. And even if there really is a 2s of silence, it wouldn't even seem awkward.

I think essentially, what women want is for men to listen, and not give some smart ass advice.

Remember, listening is a key to maintaing a good relationship!

i hate nice guys

Sometimes, it can be quite an unfortunate thing to be in the midst of so many nice guys, but yet you're remotely attracted to any of them. And to make things worse, at times, they just simply piss you off, yet you can't be nasty to them because they are nice.

And what would you do if you were me?

Shoo them away? Ignore? Pretend to be nice? (and have my blood boil at the same time)

URGHhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Sure they are nice ppl, but not only do they bore me, they have the tendency to bother me when i'm feeling moody or busy. On days when i dont even feel like talking to ppl, they come and tell me that they are bored. Hello, which part of me look like a jester who's willing to entertain you 24/7. See, i'm being nice at my very own expense.

The damn irony of it all. hurhur

i want youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

The fine line

Where do you draw the line to distinguish friendship and romance?

This isn't all about a line, as thick as a rope. We're talking about a fine line here.

Sometimes being over friendly may send out wrong signals. Sometimes, not being friendly gives ppl a bad impression.

That is life.

Omg, i swear i'm losing my ability to pen down thoughts, or to string up words so they sound right, and not like in chunks and gawd knows what.

I'm in excruciating pain now. My head is throbbing, every muscle in my body is aching, my thermal neutral point has hit the roof and is not subsiding, i'm coughing like i have TB, my throat is badly inflammed.

I feel so bloooooooooooody sick. I've not felt like that for a really long time.

The stupid paracetamol isnt working despite a 1000mg dose.OMG.

My fever has be a recurring one. I've had it over the past 4 days. Obviously, a viral attack, and not due to heatiness or some shit.

Okay, so who wants to go watch Dim Sum Dollies with me?

Side track a bit.

Although i try to sound politcally correct all the time. There's something i'm gonna say, which will not sound politically correct and that is...

For me to be attracted to someone, he must at least attain that average look based on my definition of 'average' and lastly, the chemistry must be there! I can't emphasis enough on chemistry. I've fallen for the not so cute guys before, that's because the chemistry we had was so overwhelming. HAHA. But hey, it'll be better if i could get the best of both worlds. Cute + Chemistry.

You see, i don't want to sound like i'm superficial. But lets face it, who in this world is not superficial to some extent? Not unless you're blind right? So hence, my average look criteria must be met first, before further developments.

my job is a drag right now.

xoxo

Making money your slave

Instead of leaving your cash in your saving acct, where interest rate is only 0.25% (it is that low!), why not leave it in a savings plan with a potentially higher yield of at least 3.75%, or, why don't you invest this sum of money and get back potentially 10% of your captital or even more.

I'm not a firm believer of Unit Trust or piggy bank savings.

But alas, above all that, high returns come with high risks.

Loved

I feel so loved.
I must really thank the people who've been there for me in my darkest hour (very cliche i know!!!!)

Those who helped me out out with my job, give me motivation and encouragement.
I'm really glad to have met all these ppl, contrary to what they say about ppl working at banks ala backstabbers.

Daily phone calls, daily smses. Being happy for one another each time a deal was clinched.

This world's an ugly place, but you're so beautiful to me
I'm nursing a terribly bad cold and cough, thank you for the concern. :)

I was told that i'm a very intelligent person. HAHA. That was a pretty good ego booster.

The S.aureus bug

No prizes for guessing, my throat has been infected with streptococcus.

I left the branch at 3pm today to see a doctor. The best thing about working for the bank is that medical consultations are all FOC. No such thing as co-payment here. Pretty good welfare huh! But yes, i'm really that sick. I usually self medicate if you know me well enough.

I'm also quite mentally drained. Imagine sleeping at 1.30am everyday, waking up at 830, going for work at 10am (very late i know haha). Gees. My throat is annoying me! Urgh

Anyway, i've decided to go take up diving this august, so that we can go for dive trips in aussie and maybe neighbouring countries. He insisted i take up diving too. Hehehe. And if all goes well, i might drop by Sydney end of this year, or maybe earlier (provided nick is still living at unilodge so that we all get free accomodation!)

I really can't afford to fall sick now man. I've got big deals to clinch this week!!!I better clinch them.

Right now, i'm still contemplating if i should go for a frigging run. It's been ages since i ran long d aimlessly. I miss those days when i was still fit and less round. =(

I can't tell you how much i cherish my new colleagues whom i met during training. They call me up everyday to ask about my day. So sweet.

Le Sigh

This is probably one of the tumultous periods of my life.

I'm battling with the recent stress at work, recent weight gain, recent family nitty gritty disputes and what else have i got in stored for me?

Sigh.

I feel so mellow at times, like i realy wonder what do i want, a happy life or a luxurious life?
Taking note that, a luxious life does not equate to a happy life.
Maybe it's true, we can't have the best of both worlds

My weekends are burnt. I'm working on Sunday and Saturday this week. Damn it.
But maybe its better, at least i can keep myself occupied, and at the same time hit my target.

Such is a life of a single, independent woman.

xoxo

a dollar

today, i opened a standard chartered account, which offers an interst rate of 1.5%, but i seriously doubt its gonna remain like that forever. Pfft.

so, guess what the free gift was?


$1 credited into my account.

RIGHT.

Moving Out

I really wanna move out to stay. Away from parents, out of my comfort zone.
Sooner or later, we'll all have to move out.

The things at happening at home is really escalating my desire to move out. I feel like i have a family, and yet i can't depend on anyone. I feel that my family members are there just to meet the picture perfect criteria of a family. Hur. Who am i kidding.

I am dying to get out of my the country and out of the house!

It'll be cool if we all could share an apartment in the city.
I think i am financially capable of that, provided someone shares with me.

I will let my flat mates bring guys back, throw parties (provided they clean up), or even have wild sex on top of the washing machine.

Interested parties, pls inform me

xoxo

Woes of a 20 something

When we were in secondary school, we brought our neoprint books along to show off to our classmates

When we were in uni, we exchanged and post pictures of our varsity days and overseas experience.

Guess whats gonna happen in the future?

We're gonna share our wedding photo albums with one another

OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG


This is such a damn damn scary thought.
I hope the day doesn't come. I don't wanna be the first to share wedding photos!

I can't imagine getting married!!