安静

只剩下钢琴陪我谈了一天
睡着的大提琴 安静的旧旧的
我想你已表现的非常明白
我懂我也知道 你没有舍不得
你说你也会难过我不相信
牵着你陪着我 也只是曾经
希望他是真的比我还要爱你
我才会逼自己离开
你要我说多难堪 我根本不想分开
为什么还要我用微笑来带过
我没有这种天份 包容你也接受他
不用担心的太多 我会一直好好过
你已经远远离开 我也会慢慢走开
为什么我连分开都迁就着你
我真的没有天份 安静的没这么快
我会学着放弃你 是因为我太爱你

One of Jay Chou's nicest songs that is anything more than apt to describe everything about me now.

Drift

It feels like there's a barrier wedged between us.


What a terrible feeling.

Blame it all on the timing.

Mad

I'm so mad at myself this morning for dropping an egg on the floor.
If it didn't make matters worse, i'm still nursing a pretty bad lower back ache, which i was told is a muscle strain.
The hell i have to clean up the mess with a backache. Probably the worst 5 mins of my life.

Argh.

Giving Up

When i was young, trips to the candy store meant a great deal to me. It was far greater than having french fries or sundae treats at Macdonalds. Never really was a big fast food fan anyway.
I still remember each visit to the family doctor for common ailments always end with a bonus. ie, the trip to the candy store.

Situatated at this quaint little corner of Tanglin Halt was my family doctor's clinic. Beside it was an Econ Minimart. Dad never fail to bring me there for a candy treat after he has collected my medication. I actually spent a great deal of time at the store, selecting the candy i wanted. I always fancied candies that come in really cute boxes. Japanese candies to be exact. Those candies packed in hello kitty tins never fail to catch my attention. There was also another type of candy that come in pretty packages, and inside, you'll find candies plus a surprise toy.

More often than not, I've always wanted to buy more than just that box of candy. I wanted 2, for they both look so pretty and nice. To be honest, i didn't even care if the candy would taste nice or not. Dad always said i could only pick one.

I guess indecisivness had been ingrained in me ever since i was young. Picking one out of the two candies seem like a huge affair for i always spent quite a bit of time making a decision. There were times i sulked and tell my dad "but i like both", hoping that he would allow me to grab both. But such incidences were fairly rare.

Having to put one of the boxes of candy back onto the shelf made me disappointed.

***

I wonder if he feels this way.
We all know that we can never have the best of both worlds. When it comes to making a choice between 2 person, it is but a fact that someone will get hurt since emotions have been attached. Now, or later, someone will experience emotional torment.
For me, walking away was no mean feat. I could see this coming. I knew this day would come. Truth be told, it wasn't an easy task for me. We've spent a great deal of time together, hours and hours on the phone every night. He was someone who taught me how to love again after my first relationship.

For him, it's just like having to put the other box of candy onto the shelf. Definitely not something he would want to do, but i think he had to do it to save the 3 of us from further agony. He told me that once everything's cleared, he'll be back for me again. Well, honestly, I can't even assure him that things will remain the same. Axl Rose once sang "Nothing last forever, and we both know hearts can change".

Yes, we've both decided to call it quits, reluctantly. Sometimes, using your mind than your heart is a better way out. Using your heart in this case, would just pull you deeper and deeper into a sandpit called trouble.

I really don't know what it'll be next time. Or maybe next week.

At least the memories were worth cherishing.

what a day!

Weekends have never been so sluggish only till recently when i started my investment training.

It's such an unproductive day. I was supposed to study for my freaking Collective Investment Scheme paper (which i failed, and am gonna re-take again next tuesday), i ended up doing everything but study.

I went for Piano lesson this afternoon, and i was taught a Richard Clayderman piece. How nice.

I also slept half the day away, because it was so chilly and comfortable, i couldn't resist lying on my bed. All i wanted to do was to rest my eyes, but i ended up falling asleep.

I think tomorrow, I will do something productive. Not shopping for sure.

This month, the credit card bills came up to a whopping $655.30. This includes the iPod Video and Nokia Handphone which i bought. Just yesterday, i was even contemplating on buying a speakers with iPod dock. Am i crazy? Did i also mention that i bought 4 pairs of shoes last week?
The crazy things i am capable of doing.

Hmm.. I've got the entire iPod range. iPod Video, Nano and shuffle.
Wooo!

My handphone bill was a whopping $49.30. Sob. It never was above $40 last time.
I had 193 mins of outgoing calls and 2789 mins of incoming calls.
Talk about value for money! Hah.

Im gonna get some green tea now.

Till then

xoxo

love notes

Handwritten love notes these days aren't that common, especially if they're from guys.

But hey, the feeling of receiving one well literally sends you all the way to the moon.
Truth be told, I am in love.
I'm in love with a romantic dreamer. A guy who is very affectionate and sweet.
A guy who can be my best friend, and at the same time give me the love no other friends could give. A guy whom i can be honest about my feelings that i need not hide anything from him. A guy who makes me laugh, and gives me my air time over the phone every night. A guy who bothers to find out what i eat, and what i don't, so he could whip up something for me. A guy who tries to tune in to the Oprah Winfrey show to learn to enjoy what's so nice about that talkshow, because it's my favourite talkshow. A guy who wants me to meet his mom. A guy who sees a future with me.

He's absolutely amazing.

It is pretty uncanny how everything started. It's not like we both had an agenda to go after each other. Everything happened so naturally. We even had lovenotes for each other on the same day! Talk about coincidences!

Grocery shopping with him yesteday made it seem like we've been together for such a long time already.

Sigh.

Only thing is, there's one problem. We would've been perfect if not for that problem.

"falling in love with you has been the most beautiful thing that has happened to me in over 2 years"

Simply Amazing

the price you pay, the value you receive

this is all that matters to an investor.

Being my 1st week at investment training class, i guess i've learnt pretty much alot about the stock market. Pretty cool stuff if you ask me. Makes me wanna research more and go invest on my own.

This is a pretty good time to invest in unit trust where the market is still quite bullish. Ahhh.

I wish i took finance, or economics for that matter. Sigh


I'm stuck in an intangible relationship with a guy and i still don't know what to do.
And for the first time, i've had a guy who's more into me than i am into him.
Very special guy indeed!

*beams*

Hmmm.. no one has ever told me that I was a good kisser.
I never did bother asking if I was one either.

Until, I met this guy who told me I was very passionate.
And..irresistable? Haha

This guy happens to be the guy I'm falling for.

He gives the best hugs, cuddles, kisses and best of all, he makes me laugh and feel loved all the time.

Hmmm.......