Giving Up

When i was young, trips to the candy store meant a great deal to me. It was far greater than having french fries or sundae treats at Macdonalds. Never really was a big fast food fan anyway.
I still remember each visit to the family doctor for common ailments always end with a bonus. ie, the trip to the candy store.

Situatated at this quaint little corner of Tanglin Halt was my family doctor's clinic. Beside it was an Econ Minimart. Dad never fail to bring me there for a candy treat after he has collected my medication. I actually spent a great deal of time at the store, selecting the candy i wanted. I always fancied candies that come in really cute boxes. Japanese candies to be exact. Those candies packed in hello kitty tins never fail to catch my attention. There was also another type of candy that come in pretty packages, and inside, you'll find candies plus a surprise toy.

More often than not, I've always wanted to buy more than just that box of candy. I wanted 2, for they both look so pretty and nice. To be honest, i didn't even care if the candy would taste nice or not. Dad always said i could only pick one.

I guess indecisivness had been ingrained in me ever since i was young. Picking one out of the two candies seem like a huge affair for i always spent quite a bit of time making a decision. There were times i sulked and tell my dad "but i like both", hoping that he would allow me to grab both. But such incidences were fairly rare.

Having to put one of the boxes of candy back onto the shelf made me disappointed.

***

I wonder if he feels this way.
We all know that we can never have the best of both worlds. When it comes to making a choice between 2 person, it is but a fact that someone will get hurt since emotions have been attached. Now, or later, someone will experience emotional torment.
For me, walking away was no mean feat. I could see this coming. I knew this day would come. Truth be told, it wasn't an easy task for me. We've spent a great deal of time together, hours and hours on the phone every night. He was someone who taught me how to love again after my first relationship.

For him, it's just like having to put the other box of candy onto the shelf. Definitely not something he would want to do, but i think he had to do it to save the 3 of us from further agony. He told me that once everything's cleared, he'll be back for me again. Well, honestly, I can't even assure him that things will remain the same. Axl Rose once sang "Nothing last forever, and we both know hearts can change".

Yes, we've both decided to call it quits, reluctantly. Sometimes, using your mind than your heart is a better way out. Using your heart in this case, would just pull you deeper and deeper into a sandpit called trouble.

I really don't know what it'll be next time. Or maybe next week.

At least the memories were worth cherishing.