Always On Your Side - Sheryl Crow & Sting

My yesterdays are all boxed up and neatly put away
Every now and then you come to mind
'Cause you were always waiting to be picked to play the game
But when your name was called, you found a place to hide
When you knew that I was always on your side

Well everything was easy then, so sweet and innocent
But my demons and my angels reappeared
Leavin' only traces of the man you thought I'd be
Too afraid to hear the words I'd always feared
Leavin' you with only questions all these years

But is there someplace far away, someplace where all is clear
Easy to start over with the ones you hold so dear
Or are you left to wonder, all alone, eternally
This isn't how it's really meant to be
No it isn't how it's really meant to be

Well they say that love is in the air, never is it clear,
Try to pull it close and make it stay
Butterflies are free to fly, and so they fly away
And I'm left to carry on and wonder why
Even through it all, I'm always on your side

But is there someplace far away, someplace where all is clear
Easy to start over with the ones you hold so dear
Or are you left to wonder, all alone, eternally
When this isn't how it's really meant to be
No it isn't how it's really meant to be

Well they say that love is in the air, never is it clear
How to pull it close and make it stay
Butterflies are free to fly, why do they fly away
Leavin' me to carry on and wonder why
Was it you that kept me wandering through this life

When you know that I was always on your side

Sometimes when you don't have answers to questions, time is the only answer. This period has given me some sort of affirmation that i'm tired of being in this sticky situation. It has also proven to be that he probably didn't love me as much; or so he claimed. It also made me realised that his inclinations to look for another job again, kinda disappointed me, making whatever future plans we had (if it's still inforced) very bleak. I am afterall a very practical person.

I guess 2 months grace was the ultimatum. It is certainly long enough to get things straight. I can't be waiting my whole life. And if he didn't have the time or energy to settle this issue, i don't see why i should stick around further. I think it spells it out very clearly, that i probably am not important enough for him to channel some energy into this matter to get it over and done with.

To a certain extent, i am disappointed with myself and with him. Everything that we shared, happiness at its pinnacle, all came crumbling down bit by bit. Now, as I blog, in all honesty, i feel so distant from him, to a point where i feel that even F understands me better, or at least provided a better listening ear. Even as we talk on the phone every night, i could still feel this invisible barrier wedged between us. The conversation seemed like it was going through a valve, something which i didn't like. For that matter, it was me listening him out, or when i talk, he'll be half asleep. Really, it is absolutely frustrating. There were days, i was on the verge of snapping at him; but then again, what do i gain from it? he's merely a friend, why do i even care?

I know i've said this many times, how i'm walking away from it already. I am honouring my promise this very day for i've set the ultimatum. Nothing came out of it, so i'm not gonna give two shit.

It's O-V-E-R!


Get over him Grace!