An excerpt from my diary

".. I was actually looking through old photos of Ken & I, even though at times, i say that i wouldn't even blink at them. It kinda made me realise how i miss being in a relationship. How i miss loving and caring for a special someone, and having loved in return. I also miss the ups and downs of a relationship because sometimes a stable and too smooth a sailing life is simply too boring, although i won't say it is sucky. Most of all, what i miss most is the feeling of falling in love. The pre-relationship phase, where you're left with so many uncertainities about bringing the friendship to the next level, as well as those excitments that can sometimes drive you bonkers. The pre-relationship phase would look like this: He'll call you almost everyday, just to ask about your day. He'll text you when he's bored, just to find out what you're doing, even though he knows everyday you're doing the same old shit. You also look forward to hanging out with him on weekends even though you both plan to meet up at a dodgy heartlander's mall. I guess the company is all that matters huh.
Most importantly, what i do miss is having that special person being there for you at the end of the day. How you could turn to him when you had a bad day. A person to share your woes and joy. And the best thing is, you know that no matter what, he'll be there to celebrate your birthday/x'mas and other festives with you, so much so that you don't have to wreck your brains to decide who you should spend it with.

Maybe for now, I can honestly say that loneliness is eating into me, and i'm pretty sick of being single and independent."

Pardon me. I'm just feeling kinda jaded.

With much love.