all that you can't leave behind

The above title as you know, is quoted from one of U2s popular songs, 'Walk On'.

I really have this problem of leaving things behind, and them moving on to the my next phase in life. Both relationships and career.

I don't know why, but i was so emotional when i tendered my resignation to my boss. I could feel tears welling up in my eyes. The more i talk, the more i couldn't control my tear ducts. It was a myraid of feelings. I felt guilty and selfish, for leaving at the wrong time; since another of my co-worker is leaving 3 days after me. I felt horrible that the rest of them can't get their alternate saturdays off once i leave, or the fact that there are only 3 of them left to manage the lab.

On the other hand, i'm still trying to accept the fact that ppl come and go, as what my boss told me. They do that all the time for personal reasons. And for me, my reason was a financial one. I needed a better paying job. Maybe this being my first real job, i felt so emotional and heartless. I'm sad too, having to leave them, although it was only 10 months. Despite my stint being a short one, seeing each other everyday really forged a strong friendship. If only i didn't have to leave them, but i had to.

I know i'll never find a working environment as good as the hospital. I had a terrrific boss, and my co-workers were great. I never had to deal with stress or anything, and the best part is, i get to knock off on the dot. This will be a transition from comfort zone to harsh environment. When i start on my new job, i should be prepared to protect myself from the dog eat dog society, and not trust anyone too easily. Now, i think i'm really prepared for the geuninely REAL working world.

I'm pretty sure my boss won't be too happy with my decision. I could tell from the way she was being abit negative about my job offer. Sigh. What to do, every man for himself right? If only they paid me higher in the hospital, then maybe i might consider staying.

Anyway, my new job is pretty promising in terms of money and prospects. But i have to put in a lot of hardwork, which i think i'm all geared up for. Long working hours, stress etc etc. Anything for a better life.