Uma Thurman on the Oprah

I was watching the Oprah show guest starring Uma Thurman a while ago (i admit i'm a die-hard Oprah fan, pls grant me my wish, and bring to me to Chicago to catch her show at Harpo Studio).

Today's topic was on Marriage, Men and Relationships.

Uma was being interviewed by Oprah about her broken marriage with Ethan Hawk.
I could see so much sadness in Uma's eyes. I know as much as she wanna break down and cry, she attempted to control her emotions very well. Afterall, Oprah's show is viewed by millions of ppl, crying is a sign of weakness. And that is something you would never wanna potray to your ex. (or her ex husband, Ethan)

And then came a part when Oprah asked if she had moved on. The thing about dumpees is that, sometimes they don't exactly know whether or not they've moved on. It's like a mental state of confusion. Sometimes you think you have, sometimes you feel like you haven't even moved on a bit. And the part on "if only"s. Do you feel like you have many "if only.."s after a break up? I think i do. Call it a feeling of regrets, even though i know life's too short to regret. Too many "if only"s would hamper you from moving on, because the reason why you think of so many if onlys is because somehow or rather, you still haven't forgiven yourself, nor recouncile with yourself. You blame yourself for the failure, you hate yourself, and sometimes, you feel like giving yourself a big punch.

'If onlys' are not good. Again, to really move on, you gotta drop all these stupid thoughts like, "i should've..... , i shoudn't have..."blah blah. It's time to really find some inner peace with yourself, stop blaming yourself and learn to love yourself even more. Easier said that done. Who am i kidding, when i can't exactly accomplished the above. It seems so much easier to say, to think logically but when it comes to really doing what i think i should do, i find it a bit too hard.

I feel for Uma, yes i do. Every women out there always want to appear as strong after breakups, so do i. But honestly speaking, there's always a tinge of weakness in everyone of us. We cry, we become angry, we hate, we become an emotional wreck.- the problem with XX species. We always let our emotion get the better of us. We think with our hearts, while the men think with their dicks.

Anyway, i really don't know why i'm talking about all these. Maybe subconsciously (or so i was told) that i haven't completely gotten over everything that happened 10 months ago.

I wish i did.