On Love

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This was what He-bitch said to me

"Friendship often ends in love, but love in friendship -never" Charles Caleb Colton

To He-bitch, this is for you:

"Love sought is good, but given unsought, is better. "
* William Shakespeare

To my dearest friend Evan, this article is for you:

Recently, while on holiday in Vancouver, I was discussing study opportunities with Melinda and Evan, a couple that I had just met. In the midst of our conversation, a question popped out "How does your boyfriend feel about you going abroad to study?" Unfazed, I replied that I had no boyfriend, to which one of them said "Are you sure?" Duh. It is my life right?

Inane as that question may be, I seem to encounter plenty of queries these days. It seems that the people around me have a bone of contention with regards to my single status. And it's starting to get downright annoying. At first, laughing it off was easy, but after one too many comments like "You don't have a boyfriend? But you are not ugly what." the laughing becomes forced and I seriously (and still am) considering relocating myself to some isolated village in the far reaches of Timbuktu.

My relatives are no exception. In fact, they started the entire fracas in the first place. After I turned 16 without any sign of boyfriend or male suitor, speculation began as to what was wrong. Eventually, they came to a general consensus that I was lesbian. Which I am not. Trust me, it would be so much easier to pretend that I am lesbian in order to get those vultures off my back, but the truth is, I like boys as much as the next Cleo-reading femme. Even my parents remain skeptical. While other parents frantically try and shield their daughters away from boys, my parents are the antithesis, encouraging me to socialize more; albeit protests that my social life is alive and flourishing, thank you very much.

Now, even my friends have jumped on the bandwagon, attempting to play Good Samaritan by inundating me with offers of blind dates and the like. At the risk of sounding ungrateful, I know they mean well but I only have one word to say: NO. And a big fat one at that. I'm sure blind dates can be fun, but for someone who does not enjoy being thrown headfirst into the deep end of a pool, I must say that trying to engage in cordial conversation with a complete stranger is not for me. It's weird , ok, maybe not so weird upon further reflection, that friend who think that it is time for me to have a significant other usually have significant others of their own, and cannot wait to share their new found bliss with others i.e. single, unsuspecting friends like myself.

Come to think of it, the entire thing is incredibly ironic. I mean, women have come so far this past hundred years: we have witnessed the emancipation of women, women given equal rights as men, women who have broken the proverbial glass ceiling to become CEOs of multinational companies (think Carly Fiorina of Hewlett-Packard) and even Prime Ministers and Presidents (Margaret Thatcher and Gloria Arroyo). But still, still we shun women who are unattached. And woe betides any female who remains unwed by the time she has reached middle age, because then she gets saddled with the unfortunate title of "spinster", which is (of course) meant to be whispered in hushed tones. Though I much prefer the sassier sounding title of "Bachelorette" (hands up those of you who think that the word "spinster" was made to sound uncannily like "sinister").

Just to get things straight. I am not a man hater. Men have contributed significantly to our lives, without them, there would be no one to see us home after a late night out, service our cars, repair our electrical items, unclog that stuck pipe, kill creepy crawlies that always seem to startle you when you least expect it. Yup, I know that women can do that as well, but it is just that men do seem to relish doing those things a lot more than what we could possibly muster.

Right now, my life as a swinging single is just about as good as it gets. I'm not moaning about "smug marrieds" a la Bridget Jones. However, I must admit to feeling a twinge of envy when I see happy couples doing coupley things together. But when I compare that to the freedom of doing what I want, wherever and whenever I want without having to account to anyone apart from myself; I'd choose the latter. Maybe I'm simply not ready for someone, or maybe I haven't found the right person yet. Ok, so I'll wait. There's no hurry. My biological clock has yet to start counting down like a time bomb awaiting detonation. The right man will come along and I will happen to be there; even if it means meeting him at some isolated village in the far reaches of Timbuktu.