On Regrets

I don't know if anyone of you here have felt this sense of regretfulness before. But i personally have. It was my first and biggest regret in my 21yrs of life. I used to say, how i regretted not going abroad, but at the back of my mind, i was comforted by this thought that i had someone special back in singapore. That was the major pull factor for not being persistant in studying overseas.

My biggest regret was me. I'm my own worst enemy. I regretted not being nice, nor understanding to him, and his fiancial situations. I fucking regretted being petty, throwing my tantrums around. I've regretted being blinded, for i once had an angel beside me, who was possibly the perfect person who could accept me and my temper and my moodswings. I've regretted for not being forgiving. For having a big pride, and not wanting to apologize. Ive regretted making someone give in to me, though it wasn't even his fault. I've regretted yelling at him and making unreasonable demands. I've regretted having too much expectations in him and in us. I've regretted for not being open and honest in my feelings. Like i really didn't dare openly show my love or feelings and whatever. And its strange how i could be open about my fussiness and pettiness and whats not. I've regretted not giving the person enough space, and always expect the person to be with me all the time. I've regretted being too dependent on the person. I've regretted for not mending the communication breakdown. I've regretted for not cherishing the gifts, but rather, i complained about them. I've regretted for the times i always compare this person to other normal guys.

And for that, I hate myself at times. I've lost confidence. And i think im never that nice person afterall.
You know, we should never learn to live with regrets. But sometimes, it's regrets thats hampering us to move on.